Take A Bow
by SeriouslyMcGuilty
Summary: When Izzie finds out that her time is running out, she doesnt quite know how to deal with it. How will she and her friends handle it? Gizzie and some MerDer and Addex...and slight Burktina
1. Chapter 1

Hi. This is my first fanfic, so I hope people will like it. Its going to be an Izzie story. And the main couple in it will be Gizzie, but I will also have some MerDer, and maybe a little Burktina. Oh and in this story, Addison and Burke will still be there. Well I think thats it so I hope everyone likes it, and please read and review!

**Kat**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 1

Izzie was lying on the bench in the locker room with her eyes shut. She took a deep breath, trying not to show that she was in pain. She was extremely tired, but still had 5 hours left of work. She heard the door open but decided to keep her eyes shut, not really caring who was walking in at the moment.

"Izzie?" She heard George say.

Izzie sighed and reluctantly opened her eyes and looked up at George.

"Yes George." She said, with agitation in her voice.

"Are you okay?" he asked sitting on the edge of the bench.

"Yes George I'm fine." She said, sitting up, wincing slightly.

"Are you sure, because you don't seem fine." He paused for a moment. "And after last night…"

Izzie remembered the events of the previous night.

_Izzie had been just fine. Enjoying it as usual. She was so close_ so close_, and then she felt it. She felt that stabbing pain in her pelvic area._

_"Owe, George, stop." She mumbled._

_"What?" he panted._

_"Get off!" she basically yelled, pushing George off of her. she got up and ran into the bathroom._

_George watched her as she slammed the door shut, feeling completely confused. He got up, but his boxers on, and walked to the bathroom. he knocked light on the door, asking Izzie if she was okay._

_"Yes George, I'm fine" she paused. "I just don't feel good, that's all."_

_"Do you need me to get you anything?" he asked, wondering what was wrong with her._

_"No." she called out._

_George turned around to walk away, but the Izzie yelled out._

_"Yeah, wait George, could you do me a favor?" she asked._

_"yeah." He said, leaning his head against the door._

_"Could you go ask Meredith if she has any pads?"_

_"Izzie! Don't you have some of those…things in there?" he asked, really not wanting to go ask Meredith for something like that._

_"No, George, all I have is tampons."_

_"Well" he paused. "Cant you use those?"_

_"No! George I need a pad!" she yelled._

_George sighed. "alright." And he headed towards Meredith's room._

_"Thank you!" Izzie called out._

Izzie sighed and stood up.

"Yes George I am fine. Last night, I didn't feel good, because I started my period. So I'm sorry If I completely ruined your night, but-"

George stood up and put a hand on her arm.

"You didn't ruin my night Izzie. I was just concerned, that's all."

Izzie nodded and sighed deeply.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just haven't felt good all day. And with Callie trying to make my life hell, well lets just say it doesn't help."

"I'm sorry about this." George said.

"Its not your fault, she's a mean vindictive bitch." Izzie said, half laughing.

George laughed slightly, but Izzie knew he really didn't like when she talked about Callie that way.

Izzie cleared her throat.

"Well I better get going. I have a surgery in 20 minutes." She said, turning to leave.

George held onto her arm and made her turn around.

"Hey."

Izzie looked at him.

"I love you."

She smiled and leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips.

"I love you too."

And with that she turned around and walked out of the locker room, leaving George standing there alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie threw her gloves in the garbage, and took off her scrub cap. She sighed as she sat down, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She just got done assisting Dr. Montgomery on a surgery. She cringed slightly as she felt that same stabbing pain in her groin region. She saw Addison walking back from speaking with the family. She thought for a moment, wondering if she should even bother her. She stood up, deciding that it wouldn't hurt anything to ask Addison for a little favor, even if it would be completely embarrassing.

"Dr. Montgomery!" Izzie called out, following her down the hallway.

Addison turned around and looked at Izzie.

"Oh hey Dr. Stevens. Great work in there." Addison said smiling.

"Thanks." Izzie said, wanting to get to the point. "Dr. Montgomery, do you think you could maybe um, do me a favor?" she asked.

"Well it depends on what it is." Addison said, stopping and looking at her.

"Well I've been having some pains" Izzie said, not really wanting to talk about this in the middle of the hall.

"What sort of pains?" she asked.

"Well in my pelvic area." Izzie said, keeping her voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh." Addison said, looking rather surprised.

"Yeah, so I was wondering if you could maybe exam me, and tell me what you think."

"Yeah, sure. I have a free minute now if you'd like."

Izzie smiled.

"Yes, that'd be great. Thank you so much!" Izzie said, feeling relieved.

"No problem."

Izzie followed Addison to an exam room and shut the door. Addison hander her a sheet and opened the door to leave.

"Just take your bottoms off and sit on the table and cover up with that." She said, motioning to the sheet. "And I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay." Izzie said.

After the door was shut, Izzie quickly slid her shoes off and took off her pants and underwear. She sat on the table and covered her lower half with the sheet.

After a moment or so, there was a knock on the door and Addison walked in.

"All ready?" she asked.

Izzie nodded, feeling a little nervous.

Addison must have noticed this because she gave Izzie a reassuring look.

"Don't worry, I'm very good at what I do." She said smiling. "Now, Dr. Stevens-"

"You can call me Izzie." Izzie said, feeling strange having Addison call her doctor, knowing what she was about to do.

"Okay." Addison said, smiling again. "Izzie, what exactly seems to be the problem?" she asked.

"Well, lately, I've been bleeding a lot."

"You mean, like menstruating?" she asked

"Not exactly. Well sort of, but it's been a lot. I mean even when I shouldn't be on my period, I still bleed sometimes."

"A huh." Addison said, jotting something down.

"And I've been having some pain in my pelvic area." Izzie added.

"What sort of pain? Like on a scale of 1-10, how bad would you say it was?"

Izzie thought about it for a moment before saying. "I don't know, maybe a 6." Izzie replied.

"Okay." Addison said, writing something else down.

"Anything else?"

"Yes." Izzie said feeling like this was the most humiliating part. "Last night, when I was having-" she paused "When me and George-"

"You don't need to tell me who it was with." Addison said, holding her hand up.

"Right." Izzie said, biting her lip. "Well when we were, ya know"

"Having sex?" Addison asked, rather bluntly.

"Yes." Izzie said blushing slightly. "Well anyway while we were…doing that, it started to hurt."

"What do you mean?" Addison asked.

"Well it hurt to do it, like him being…" Izzie paused, trying to think of a better word "him being inside me hurt. Like I was being stabbed with a knife." Izzie concluded.

Addison nodded and set down her clip board.

"Well lets have a look, shall we." She said, pulling her chair up to the table.

"I'll need you to scoot down to the end of the table please."

Izzie did as she was told, and put her feet up.

"Okay, you may feel some pressure, and it may hurt a little, but it will be over in no time."

Izzie nodded and took a deep breath, preparing herself.

After a few minutes, Addison sat back and looked at Izzie.

"Izzie?" Addison said.

"Yeah" Izzie said, trying not to act like she was in pain.

"I'm going to do a quick colposcopy, just to double check something alright?"

Izzie felt slightly worried but agreed all the same.

"Yeah, that's fine."

After about 10 minutes or so, Addison stood up and threw her gloves away.

Izzie sat up and looked at Addison. She didn't like the look on her face very much.

"What is it?" Izzie asked, not sure if she really wanted the answer.

Addison sat down and looked Izzie in the eyes.

"Now, I'm not entirely sure, so I want to have a biopsy just incase." She said.

"Just incase what?" Izzie asked.

Addison sighed.

"Izzie, the symptoms you described to me made me wonder, so I checked, and I'm afraid I might have been right."

"About what?" Izzie practically yelled, wanting Addison to just tell her and get it over with.

"I think you may have Cervical Cancer."


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to all of those who read and reviewed my story. I was hoping for more reviews, but hey its my first story so I cant be too picky. I really loved the reviews I got though. Oh and Im sorry that it took so long for me to put this chapter up. I was on a trip, so I have been prety busy. But I am back now and should be able to update more often. So here is Chapter 2. Please read and review!

**Kat**

Chapter 2

Izzie sat in the dark exam room with her head in her hands. She took a deep breath and went over everything Addison had said. How could this happen? How could she have cancer? She sat up and tilted her head back. She knew she shouldn't be thinking like this. Addison had even said she wasn't sure. She wanted to do a biopsy to be sure. So she may not even have it. Perhaps she was just getting herself all worked up for nothing. Just then the door opened and Addison walked in.

"Hello Izzie. How are you doing?" she asked.

"Great." Izzie said sarcastically.

Addison sighed and looked at Izzie sadly.

"Look, I'm not even 100 percent sure you have Cervical Cancer, I just think there is a possibility."

Izzie nodded.

"I know, but I have to be real. I know that there is a very big chance I may have it." she paused, sighing. "I'm a doctor. I see cases where people are diagnosed with cancer all the time. And I know that you are great at what you do, so if you think I have cancer-" she paused again, looking down at the floor. "Then I probably have cancer." Izzie said, not really believing what she was saying.

Addison sighed and sat there quietly for a moment.

"Well I can do the biopsy today if that's alright with you." She said, looking at Izzie.

"Okay." Izzie said quietly.

"Dr. Grey is suppose to be with me today, but if you don't want her there, I can find someone else for her to work with." Addison said standing up.

Izzie looked up. "No, it's fine. I think it might be better if I have Meredith there anyway." Izzie said.

Addison nodded and headed to the door.

"The biopsy will probably be around 5." She said.

Izzie nodded before Addison walked out the door.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith was standing at the nurses station talking to Cristina.

"So you and Burke, how is that going?" She asked Cristina.

Cristina rolled her eyes and set a chart down.

"You can't be seriously asking me that."

"Yes, I am seriously asking you that. Yesterday you told me that you were having second thoughts about getting married, and then I see you two walk in today looking all happy and coupleish or whatever." Meredith said, leaning against the counter.

Cristina looked at Meredith and sighed.

"We weren't all happy and coupleish okay? And I wasn't having second thoughts." Cristina said, looking away.

Meredith looked at her with a shocked expression.

"Oh my God!"

"What?" Cristina asked.

"You're pretending to be totally happy so he'll let you scrub in on that transfusion free cardiothoracic surgery!" Meredith exclaimed.

Cristina looked around innocently for a moment before leaning in and whispering "And that's how that game is played."

Meredith looked at her and shook her head.

"You know this is really not good. You and Burke need to-" she looked down as her pager went off. "Oh I have to go. Montgomery is paging me. But really Cristina-" she looked up to see that Cristina wasn't standing there anymore. She sighed and turned to go find Addison.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Addison was standing outside of the room waiting for Meredith. When she saw her coming down the hall, she sighed knowing this probably wasn't going to be easy.

"Dr. Grey." Addison said.

"You paged me?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, I need your help with a biopsy." Addison said.

"Okay." Meredith said, moving to open the door.

"Dr. Grey, before we go in there, I need you to swear that you won't tell anyone what you are about to witness."

"Okay…" Meredith said looking at Addison strangely.

Addison sighed and opened the door.

Meredith walked in and saw Izzie sitting there.

"Izz?" Meredith said, not sure what was going on.

"Hey Mer." Izzie said quietly.

Meredith turned around and looked at Addison.

"What's going on here? Why is Izzie here? I thought we were doing a biopsy."

"You are." Izzie said.

Meredith turned back around and looked at Izzie.

"But why are you-" Meredith started, but cut herself off as she put the two together.

"Izzie what's going on?" Meredith asked.

Izzie looked down at the floor, finding this conversation way harder than she had imagined.

"She has been having some pains, and other symptoms-" Addison began.

"What kind of symptoms?" Meredith asked.

"Excessive bleeding and such" Addison answered. "So she came to me so I could have a look, and I think she may have…" Addison trailed off. She couldn't bring herself to say it. Even though she told people bad news all the time, this was different. She knew these people. She worked with these people.

"She may have what?" Meredith asked, getting scared and impatient.

"Cervical Cancer." Izzie answered.

Meredith's eyes widened as she looked down at Izzie.

"Oh Izz…"

"Don't Meredith. Don't tell me how sorry you feel, because we don't know for sure that I have it. That's why you're here, to help Dr. Montgomery with the biopsy. If you don't want to be here that's fine, but don't tell anyone about this."

Meredith put her hand on Izzie shoulder.

"I want to be here Izz. And I won't tell anyone about this."

Izzie nodded, still not looked up.

Addison waited a moment before speaking.

"Well I already paged the anesthesiologist so we should be able to begin any time."

They sat there in silence for about 10 minutes until there was a soft knock on the door. The anesthesiologist walked in and began getting things ready.

Once everything was all set and ready Addison looked down at Izzie and smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. You may feel some pain or discomfort after a little while, but the local anesthesia should take care of any pain during the biopsy." Addison said.

"Okay." Izzie said, still looking scared.

After she was given the local anesthesia Addison began the biopsy.

After she removed the tissue from the cervix, she put it in a tube and handed it to Meredith.

"Okay Grey, take this directly to the pathologist's lab. Tell them I said that this test needs to be done right away."

"Alright." She put a hand on Izzie's. "I'll be right back."

"Okay." Izzie said as she watched Meredith walk out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dr. Montgomery!" Meredith yelled, running down the hallway to catch up to her.

Addison turned around and looked at Meredith.

"Did you get the results back?"

"Yes, they're right here." She said, handing them over.

"I didn't look at them" she paused. "I couldn't."

Addison nodded and looked over the results.

"Well?" Meredith asked, not wanting to wait anymore.

Addison set down the paper and sighed, taking off her glasses.

"No." Meredith said.

Addison rubbed her head and looked at Meredith.

"We have to go find Izzie."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So, I'm guessing you got my results back." Izzie said, looking at the two of them.

"Yes, we did." Addison said looking at Izzie sadly.

Izzie looked up at her for a moment, hoping that Addison was just playing some kind of cruel sick joke.

"I'm so sorry, but the test came back positive." She paused. "You have Cervical Cancer."


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to all that have been reading and reviewing my story. I really love every review I get! I've decided I'm ganna try to reply to all the reviews that I get from now on. It may take a few days for me to reply, but I will try. And I will reply to the annonymous people on here.

**Andrea: **Thank you, I'm glad you like it. And thanks for telling me that. I'm happy to have people tell me what they think is wrong with my story, or what they think I could improve on.

well I think thats it. So here is the next chapter, so please read and review :-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 3

Izzie sat there staring at the wall. Addison had left the room to give Izzie and Meredith some privacy. Meredith was pacing in front of Izzie. Izzie looked up, getting slightly annoyed.

"Could you not do that?" Izzie said.

Meredith stopped and looked at Izzie. She sighed and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know how to react to these things." Meredith explained.

"Its okay." She paused. "But it's alright. It's not like I'm dying, I just have-" she stopped abruptly. She had cancer. She really had it.

"I know Izz, but still. This is big, I don't get why you're acting like-"

"Like the worlds not going to end?" Izzie said.

"No, but-" Meredith started.

"I'm not acting like the worlds going to end because it's not. I have cancer. And yeah it sucks, but I can get through it. I'll have the surgery like Dr. Montgomery suggested and I'll be okay." Izzie said, looking down at the floor.

"Izzie, you know what this mean right? I mean if you go through with the surgery." Meredith said.

Izzie breathed in deeply.

"Yes, I know. It means no children. It means that all the dreams of actually having a family some day won't happen. I get that. And now, more than ever I regret-" she paused. At this very moment she regretted giving up her daughter. Would things be different if she had the chance to be a mom? She knew she could always adopt, but how could she do that knowing she had a blood daughter out there somewhere.

"Regret what?" Meredith asked, interrupting Izzie's thoughts.

"Nothing." Izzie said quietly.

They sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity when George walked in.

"Izzie, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." George said smiling at Izzie. Then his smile slowly faded. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Izzie still stared at the floor. She sighed then looked up at George.

"Nothing George, Meredith was just telling me about her McProblems with McDreamy." She said with a slight laugh.

Meredith looked over at Izzie, but decided against saying anything.

"Yeah, you know how it is." Meredith said to George.

"Oh." George said, looking from one to the other. "Well are you busy, because I was wondering if you wanted to go the Joe's with me after work."

Izzie shook her head. "Not tonight George. But you go ahead with out me."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Izzie smiled slightly. "Yeah"

"Alright, I'll see you later." He said, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.

"See ya." She whispered.

After the door was shut Meredith turned to Izzie.

"You're not going to tell him?" she asked surprised.

"No." Izzie said calmly.

"Why not? Don't you think he deserves to know?" she asked.

Izzie shook her head. "No. I figure it's better if he doesn't know. That way I won't have to stress him out for nothing. I'll find a time to tell him someday, but it will be a lot easier for me to go through this with him being happy. Because if he knows, he'll be constantly bugging me and asking me if I feel alright. So I just think this way is better for everyone."

"So does that mean you aren't telling anyone?"

Izzie sighed. "Yes. The only people that know are you and a few doctors, that's it."

Meredith sighed and nodded. "Alright."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Okay, so we'll schedule you for tomorrow. We want to get this done as soon as possible." Addison said to Izzie.

"Okay." Izzie said, hardly believing it had all happened so fast.

"So we'll keep you over night, and do the surgery first thing in the morning."

Izzie nodded, and said nothing.

Addison sighed and sat down.

"Izzie, are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's just kind of scary you know?" Izzie said, looking at Addison.

"I know, but everything will be okay. I know it will be hard, but you'll get through it. From what I heard, you, Izzie Stevens, are a very, very strong person."

Izzie smiled slightly and hugged Addison.

"Thank you."

Addison was slightly taken a back at first, but then smiled and hugged her back.

"You're welcome."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey you." Meredith said, standing in the doorway of where Derek was sitting.

"Hey." He said, looking up at her. He looked at her and he knew immediately that something was wrong. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Meredith shrugged. "Nothing."

Derek tilted his head to the side and looked at her knowingly.

"Meredith, I've known you for a while, and I know when something's bothering you." He said.

She sighed. "I don't want to talk about it." she said leaning against the doorframe.

"Then why did you come to see me? You knew I'd know." He replied.

"I just, needed to-" she paused. "_See_ you." She finished.

Derek sat up straighter. "Oh, I see." He paused, looking at his watch. "I have 20 minutes."

Meredith nodded. "That'll work." She said, turning around to find the nearest linen closet.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie looked up to see Meredith standing there in her jeans and sweater. She was smiling down at Izzie.

"Leaving?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to meet Derek at Joe's."

"Will you tell George-"

"That you're working over. Yeah, I'll tell him."

Izzie smiled. "Thanks."

"Yup." Meredith said, with a smile still on her face.

"What are you so happy about?" Izzie asked.

"Oh, nothin'." Meredith said, turning to leave.

"You and McDreamy did the _McNasty_ didn't you?" Izzie said laughing.

Meredith stopped and turned around. "Yes we did." She smiled and turned back around and left.

Izzie smiled and laid her head down on the pillow. This was going to be a long night, but at least she could count on Meredith to not dwell on her situation.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing my story. I'm glad people seem to like it!

**KatherineHeiglFan4Life: **Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm happy you like it so far.

Here is Chapter 4. Hope you all like and please read and review :-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 4

"Grey!" Bailey shouted, following Meredith down the hallway.

"Yes Dr. Bailey?" she said turning around.

"Have you seen Stevens? She was supposed to meet me in the clinic before she left and she never did." Bailey said, sounding rather irritated.

"I have no idea where Izzie is." Meredith said, trying to use her best innocent look.

Bailey looked at her knowingly. "Grey you have never been good at lying, so please don't disgrace me by trying now."

Meredith sighed. "Izzie is sort of busy at the moment."

"And what is she doing that is so much more important that reporting to the chief resident when told to?" Bailey asked, with her hands on her hips.

"She's being prepped for surgery." Meredith said quietly.

"You mean _prepping_ for surgery." Bailey said.

"No." Meredith said, knowing this wasn't going to go over very well. "She is being prepped for surgery."

Bailey just stared at her. "Okay Grey, you have about 5 seconds until I completely lose my patience. What is going on with Izzie?" she demanded.

Meredith sighed, praying Izzie wouldn't kill her for this.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Okay Izzie, are you ready?" Addison asked, looking down at Izzie, laying on the table.

Izzie nodded. "As ready as I'll ever-"

"Izzie Stevens." Bailey said, standing just inside the door.

"Dr. Bailey?" Izzie said, staring at Bailey.

Meredith came running in the room.

"Izz…I'm so…sorry…she…made me…tell…her" she said, gasping for air.

Izzie rolled her eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm fine Dr. Bailey, you can leave." Izzie said, not looking at her.

"Izzie." Bailey said, stepping closer.

"Miranda" Addison said as Bailey stood next to Izzie.

"Can't I just have a word with her?" Bailey more said than asked.

Addison nodded. "A quick one, we need to get started."

"You could have come to me." Bailey stated.

Izzie continued to stare at he ceiling. "I know."

"Then why didn't you?" she asked.

"Because" Izzie sighed "I didn't see any point in worrying anyone else. I'm fine. I just found out, and now I'm getting it taken care of, it's no big deal."

Bailey shook her head. "You people are so stubborn. You think you know what is best for everyone else."

Izzie turned her head and looked at Bailey. "I don't pretend to know what's best for anyone else." She paused. "It's just easier for me if less people know."

Bailey grabbed Izzie's hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "I'll be here if you need anything."

"Thank you." Izzie said, smiling slightly.

Bailey turned to walk out.

"Dr. Bailey."

She turned around to look at Izzie.

"Could you do me a favor, and not tell anyone else. And keep everyone, especially George away."

Bailey smiled. "Yeah." She said and walked out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George walked into the locker room, hoping he would find Izzie. He only saw her once or twice the day before, and she wasn't at home when he got there. So he figured she had spent the night here. He spotted Alex and thought he might know where she was.

"Alex, have you seen Izzie?" George asked, walking up to him.

"No." Alex said dismissively.

George sighed and walked over to where Cristina was sitting.

"Have you seen Izzie at all today?" he asked her.

"No." she said not looking at him.

George sighed and went to walk away.

"But have you seen Meredith. I need to talk to her about something." Cristina said.

George shook his head.

"No, she was gone when I got up." he said, before walking out of the locker room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Okay Grey, now we will need to completely remove the uterus." Addison said to Meredith.

"Alright." Meredith said, hardly believing she was actually doing this.

Meredith looked down and made herself believe that this wasn't really Izzie that she was operating on. She was about to step back to let Addison show her what to do, when she spotted something.

"Dr. Montgomery." Meredith said.

"Yes Dr. Grey?"

"It's probably nothing, but could you tell me why that looks like that." Meredith said, getting slightly nervous.

Meredith stepped back, letting Addison get a closer look. Addison looked down and silently swore to herself. She looked up and looked Meredith in the eye.

Meredith stared back, willing it to not be what she thought it was.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dr. Bailey!" George yelled out.

Bailey turned around to look at him.

"Yes O'Malley?" she said, knowing exactly what he was going to ask.

"Um I was wondering if you had seen Izzie at all today. I can't find her."

"O'Malley don't you have more important things to do than to be chasing your girlfriend around all day?" Bailey asked, setting her chart down at the nurse's station.

"Yes, but I-" George started.

"No O'Malley. My job is not to help you, it is to instruct you. Now I am instructing you to stop looking for Dr. Stevens and to go help sick people. This is a hospital you know!"

"Yes ma'am." George said, before turning and walking away.

Bailey watched him walk away and shook her head. Just then her pager went off. She looked down at it and a foreboding feeling came over her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith was sitting on the floor outside of Izzie's room when Bailey walked up.

"What's going on? Why are you already out of surgery?" she asked.

Meredith didn't even look up as Bailey talked. Addison looked at Bailey with a sorrowful expression.

"Miranda, I didn't know if you wanted to be the one to tell her." Addison began.

"Tell her what? How can I tell her something, when I don't know anything?" she asked.

Addison sighed. "It spread further than we thought."

"How much further?" Bailey asked.

"To the pelvic wall" she paused. "And part of the bladder." She said, her eyes watering slightly.

Bailey shook her head. "No. This can be fixed though right. You can fix her."

Addison sighed and looked at Bailey sadly. "Miranda I wish I could." She said.

"I can't take this." Meredith said suddenly as she stood up and ran down the hall.

Bailey watched as she ran away. That's what she felt like doing. But she couldn't. she had to be strong.

"If you want, I can tell her. I just thought maybe-"

"No." Bailey said. "I'll tell her."

Addison nodded as she put a hand on Bailey's shoulder. She gave her a weak smile, and then walked away.

Bailey took a deep breath before entering Izzie's room.

"Hey Dr. Bailey." Izzie said smiling.

"Hey Izzie." Bailey said, closing the door behind her.

The smile slowly slid from Izzie's face.

"They didn't do the surgery did they?" she asked.

"No." Bailey said, sitting on the edge of Izzie's bed. "They didn't."

"Why?" Izzie asked.

"There uh, were some problems." Bailey started to explain.

Izzie looked at her, trying to fight off the tears that threatened to spill.

"The cancer has spread further than Dr. Montgomery had anticipated."

"So what does this mean?" Izzie asked after a few minutes.

"It means" Bailey paused. "That there isn't going to be any surgery."

Izzie's breath caught in her throat.

"I'm dying aren't I?" Izzie asked.

A tear slid down Bailey's cheek as she nodded her head.

Izzie just stared at her for a moment, before completely breaking down and crying into Bailey's arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed my story! Sorry to anyone who I didnt get a chance to reply to. My computer has been messing up, so I didnt get to reply to people who reviewed. But I am happy for reviews I got. Thank you. Well here is the next chapter, I hope everyone likes it. Please read and review :-)

_**Kat**_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 5

"Meredith!" George practically yelled when he spotted her sitting on the floor in the on-call room.

She looked up at him.

"What George?" she said.

"Have you seen Izzie?" he asked.

"Yes." She replied.

"Do you know where she is?" he asked, getting hopeful.

"No" she lied.

"Oh" George said before sighing and sitting down. "So why are you sitting in here?" he asked.

Meredith shrugged. "To think."

George nodded. "I think Izzie's avoiding me." he said before he could stop himself.

Meredith looked at him. "Why would you think that?" she asked.

"Well I've barely seen her in the past two days, and lately she hasn't really wanted to have-"

"If you are about to say what I think you are, then don't. I don't need to hear about that." Meredith said.

"Sorry." George said after a minute, wondering what was making Meredith act cranky.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine." She lied.

George knew she was lying, but decided not to push it. So he stood up, deciding he probably should just leave her be.

"Well if you see Izzie, tell her I'm looking for her." he said before leaving the room.

Meredith sighed. She should be with Izzie right now, but this wasn't her thing. She didn't know how to handle something like this. She wasn't the strong one. That was Izzie's thing.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alex was on his way to talk with Sloan when he spotted Addison go into a linen closet. He thought that maybe she was just getting something, but when she didn't return he knew something was up. He walked over and gently knocked before opening the door. He looked in and saw her sitting on the floor.

"Dr. Montgomery?"

She looked up at him and quickly stood up.

"Karev." She said, clearing her throat.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"Um nothing. Just looking for something." She lied.

Alex looked at her in a knowing way. "You were looking for something on the floor?" he asked.

"No. Well yes." She paused, looking at him. "No." she admitted.

"Well are you okay?" he asked, noticing that she seemed on edge.

"Yes Karev, I am fine." She said. "No if you'll excuse me, I have work today." She said moving to get past him.

He put his arm out blocking her way. "You can leave when you tell me what has you hiding in a closet." He said.

She sighed, knowing he wouldn't let her go. "Don't you ever just have one of those days where" she paused "where you just don't know what to do?"

Alex looked into her eyes. "Not really, but why don't you tell me what it is. Maybe I can help."

Addison laughed slightly. "No, you really can't." she said, trying again to leave.

Alex put a hand on her arm. "What's wrong?" he asked, truly concerned.

Addison stared into Alex's eyes before leaning in and kissing him. He pushed her against the shelf, kissing her back hungrily.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie laid in her hospital bed staring up at the ceiling. How did this happen? Last week, her only concern was whether she should cut her hair or not. Now she had to decide whether she wanted to try chemo or not. She sighed, thinking back to her conversation with Bailey.

"_So what do I do now?" Izzie asked. _

_Bailey sighed. "Well I suggest chemotherapy or radiation therapy." She paused. "or both." She added._

_Izzie sighed and closed her eyes briefly. "Will that even make a difference?" she asked. _

"_Well yes." Bailey answered. "They help to have a longer and better life." _

_Izzie scoffed. "A longer and better life?" she said sarcastically. "My choice for a longer and better life went out the window when I found out that I was dying!" _

"_Izzie." Bailey said. _

"_What? It's the truth!" Izzie yelled, looking at Bailey. "I'm dying Dr. Bailey. Dying! And there's nothing they can do. There's nothing that anyone can do. This is it." Izzie closed her eyes again to prevent more tears from falling. _

_Bailey's eyes watered as she looked at Izzie. She wanted to yell at her and tell her to stop acting so stupid. But how could she do that now. _

"_Izzie, I know this is hard, but you should try. You should try and make the best of it." she paused. "I wont tell you what to do, but just know that I think you are being stupid if you don't have therapy." Bailey stood up. _

"_Where are you going?" Izzie asked, not wanting to be alone. _

"_I am going to do my job. I have patients to attend to." She paused at the door. "And while I am gone, you can think about the therapy." Bailey said before closing the door._

Izzie sighed. Bailey was right and she knew it. But did she really want to spend the end of her life in chemo? She put a hand on her head and took a deep breath. She needed George. He would know what to do. But she couldn't tell George. Not yet. What she needed to do now was get out of this hospital bed. She stood up slowly and bit down on her lip. Even though she didn't technically have the surgery, they still had to cut her open. And her stitches were really hurting. She sighed and went to get dressed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Well, um I have to get going." Addison said, pulling her shirt over her head.

"Yeah." Alex said, opening the door. "See ya." He said before taking off down the hall.

Addison sighed and went to go check on Izzie.

When she got to her room, she saw that she wasn't in there. She looked at the bed and saw a hospital gown laying on it.

Addison sighed and went to go find Izzie.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie was trying to find Meredith when she saw George. Her eyes widened and she immediately tried to hide, hoping he didn't see her.

"Izzie!" George yelled.

She mentally swore and stood up, wincing slightly.

"George." She said, trying to smile.

"Where have you been, I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Oh you know, around." She replied.

"Where were you last night?" he asked.

"What?"

"Last night, you never came home. Where were you?"

"Here." She replied.

"You worked all night?"

"Well no, but I worked pretty late so I just decided to sleep in the on-call room." she lied.

"Oh." He said. "Well I missed you." He said smiling.

She gave a fake smiled. "I missed you too." She said truthfully.

"So what are your plans for tonight, because I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner and-"

"Actually George, tonight's not a good night." Izzie said cutting him off.

"Oh. Okay. Well what about tomorrow?" he asked.

Izzie sighed and looked at the floor. She didn't want to do this, but she had to. She figured that this way it would hurt him less.

"No." she said.

"Okay." George said looking at her. "Well when would be a good time?" he asked.

Izzie took a deep breath and looked at him. "There isn't a good time."

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking confused.

"I'm sorry George, but" she paused "I don't think we should see each other any more.

George looked at her like he didn't understand what she was saying.

"I care about you, but I just don't think I care about you like that." She lied.

"Izzie, why are you saying this?" he asked.

"I'm sorry George, things are better this way."

"What?"

"Don't come to the house tonight." Izzie said, wanting to just get away.

"Izzie"

"Goodbye George." She said before turning around and walking away, leaving him standing there alone, feeling completely confused and brokenhearted.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing my story! I love the reviews I get. I wish I got more reviews ahem lol. . .well it would be nice to have more reviews, but I still appreciate the ones I get. So thank you to anyone who ever took the time to review. Okay well with that said, here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it, and please read and review:-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 6

Izzie walked down the hall and opened the first unlocked door she came to. She slid down the wall and broke down in tears. She felt like she had just sliced her heart in two. She could see the liveliness and happiness leave George's eyes as she told him it was over. She was a horrible person. She actually told George she didn't care about him. _She actually said that. _How could she?

She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. She had to. She knew, deep down, that that was the right thing to do. That way it would hurt George left when she…died. She couldn't believe it. She still hadn't quite grasped the concept, but she was dying. And no matter what she did, no matter how hard she fought, it would all end the same. With her leaving this earth, and all the ones she loved, behind. So that was why she broke up with George. She loved him too much to watch him watch her die.

She took a sharp intake of breath and winced. She lightly placed her hand over her stitches. She was almost positive that she had torn some. But she couldn't just lay around in a bed and wait for death to come. She couldn't just do nothing, knowing that her life would soon be over. She had to get out there, and do stuff. Like go to Italy, or France maybe. Who knows? But she had to do _something. _

Suddenly the door burst open and Izzie looked up to see Burke ripping off Cristina's shirt.

Izzie cleared her throat rather loudly, making her presence known. Burke and Cristina immediately stopped what they were doing and looked over at Izzie. Burke looked completely shocked and embarrassed, while Cristina just looked pissed off.

"Do you mind?" Cristina said rather rudely.

"Cristina!" Burke said, looking at her.

"What? She's just sitting there watching us." She replied.

"We should have knocked." He then turned to Izzie. "I apologize Dr. Stevens, it won't happen again."

Izzie laughed slightly and stood up cringing a little from the pain in her abdomen.

"It's alright, I was just leaving anyway." And with that she opened the door and walked out.

She shut the door behind her and leaned against the wall, sighing. She needed to find Meredith. Me stood up and walked down the hall, determined to find Meredith.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George walked silently toward the locker room. He felt like the whole world had been turned upside down. He felt numb. He reached the locker room and went in and sat down on a bench. He sat there for a while, just staring at the wall. Had that really just happened? Did Izzie really just break up with him? Why? He asked himself.

At that moment Alex walked in.

"Hey O'Malley, why are you just sitting there?" Alex asked.

George didn't even acknowledge that Alex was speaking to him. He just continued to stare at the wall.

"Okay…" Alex said, before beginning to rummage through his locker.

"I can't believe her. She's all like 'Oh look at my blonde hair and big boobs. I can cry all I want to and interrupt great sex just because I'm a big baby'…please." Cristina said, slamming a random locker shut.

Alex looked at her and laughed slightly.

"What did Izzie do?" he asked.

At the mention of Izzie's name George's head turned quickly to the two of them.

"Me and Burke were about to have greatly needed sex, in the closet, but no. Izzie was sitting there all like 'Oh my life is so horrible.' I mean seriously couldn't she go cry somewhere else?" she said, rolling her eyes.

Alex laughed and shook his head as he closed his locker.

Cristina looked over at George.

"What's wrong with Bambi?" she asked.

Alex shrugged. "Beats me. I just walked in and he was sitting there, staring at the wall."

Cristina laughed. "Bambi and Tinkerbelle probably had a fight." She said, turning around to leave. "whatever, I'm going to get my sex now."

After Cristina left, Alex looked over at George.

"What did you do to her?" he asked.

George finally looked at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Izzie. Why was she sitting alone in a closet, crying?" he demanded.

"I don't know. We were happy. Well atleast I thought we were." George said, looking at the floor.

"We're?" Alex asked.

"We're. She just walked up to me, and told me she didn't love me anymore." George paused. "And that we were over." He finished.

Alex looked at him, feeling slightly shocked. As far as he knew, Izzie was happier than she'd been in a long time. She was singing in the shower again, and was back to her usual cheery optimistic self. Why would she all of a sudden say those things to George.

"Oh. Well I have to go." Alex said before walking out of the locker room to find Izzie.

George was left alone, again. Sitting there by himself, feeling completely hopeless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alex was in the elevator when the doors opened on the 5th floor. He looked up and saw Izzie standing there.

"Izzie." He called out, stepping off of the elevator.

Izzie looked up and started walking away.

"Izzie." He said again, catching up with her.

"Not now Alex." She said.

"Izzie." Alex said, grabbing her arm and making her look at him.

Izzie sighed. "What?"

"Is everything okay, I heard about you and O'Malley." He said.

Izzie pulled her arm away and started walking away again.

"I don't need this from you right now." she said. She couldn't believe he was really going to rub this in her face and say 'I told you so.'

"Izzie!" Alex yelled.

Izzie turned around and looked at him. "Could you keep your voice down?" she asked.

Alex sighed and motioned for her to follow him. He opened a closet door and closed it behind her.

"Okay, so are you going to tell me what's going on with you, or are you going to stand there and keep pretending like everything's okay?" Alex said folding his arms.

Izzie tried to laugh, but couldn't seem to.

"I'm fine. George and I-" she paused. "We just weren't meant for each other. It just wasn't going to work." She lied.

Alex stared at her. "Look, I may not have loved the idea of you and O'Malley, but it made you happy. He made you happy. I can't remember ever seeing you this happy." He paused looking at the tears forming in her eyes. "I care about you Izzie. Even though I act like an ass most of the time, I still care about you. And I know when something's wrong, and something is definitely wrong." He paused again. "So tell me…what is going on?"

Izzie stood there, staring at Alex. A tear slid silently down her face. She wanted to laugh and tell him he was being stupid, but he wasn't. He was completely right. She wanted to pretend, but she just couldn't pretend right now.

"I have cancer." She blurted out, with more tears sliding down her cheeks.

"What?" Alex said, looking completely taken aback.

"I have cancer Alex." She paused before whispering "And I'm dying."

Alex looked at her with a confused, lost expression on his face.

"Izzie." He whispered. This wasn't what he had expected at all. She laid her head on his chest and began to cry harder.

"Izzie." He whispered again as he wrapped his arms around her. He just stood there, holding her as she cried desolately into his arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you to everyone who has been reading my story. And thanks especially to everyone that reviewed. Well here is the next chapter, hope you all like! Please read and review!!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 7

"What type of cancer is it?" Alex asked Izzie as they sat on the bed in the on-call room. After Izzie had finished crying, Alex decided that it would be better to go sit somewhere more comfortable so Izzie could explain things.

"cervical cancer" Izzie replied, not looking at him.

Alex nodded and was about to ask her more about it when it all of a sudden hit him.

"So that's what was bothering Addi- uhm Dr. Montgomery." He said.

Izzie looked up at him. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I saw her earlier, and she was upset about something, and she refused to tell me what it was…so I'm guessing this is it."

"Oh." Izzie said, returning her attention to the floor.

They sat there in silence for a few moments before Alex spoke again.

"So what are you going to do? I mean are there any treatments?" he asked.

Izzie sighed. "Yeah, there's chemo and radiation, but I figured why bother?"

Alex looked at her sharply. "Izzie you can't just give up! You have to take treatment." He said, a little more forcefully than meant.

"Why not?" Izzie asked, looking up at him.

"Because I know you're better than that. You're not one to go down with out a damn good fight." He said simply.

Izzie sighed and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked, standing up with her.

"I'm going to find Meredith. I need to talk to her."

"Izzie."

"I'm sorry Alex, but I can't do this right now." Izzie said before quickly leaving the room.

No sooner had she shut the door when she ran into Meredith.

"Izzie!" Meredith said, surprised to see her.

"Hey Mer." Izzie said smiling slightly.

"Where have you been? Montgomery is going ballistic." Meredith said, looking at Izzie suspiciously.

Izzie sighed. "I couldn't just sit there Mer. I had to get out."

Meredith looked at Izzie sadly before grabbing her arm and pulling her down the hall.

"Meredith!" Izzie said, removing Meredith's hand from her arm. "What are you doing?"

"Okay, I may not be a strong trailer park girl like you, but I _will_ make you go back!" Meredith said.

Izzie sighed. "Mer I cant fight you right now." and with that, she followed Meredith back to her room.

When they got there, Bailey was sitting there looking disappointed.

"Izzie Stevens" Bailey said when she saw Izzie walk in.

Izzie looked down and sat on the bed.

"Just what do you think you're doing. You cant just get up and leave with out being discharged." Bailey said.

"I didn't leave the hospital" _because no one would let me_ she added silently.

"That is not the point and you know it." she said. She sighed and looked at Izzie.

"Have you made a decision?" Bailey finally asked.

Izzie sighed deeply and thought back to what Alex said. _"You're not one to go down with out a damn good fight." _

"I'm going to try treatment." Izzie said, her voice stronger than she felt.

Meredith smiled slightly and Bailey nodded. "Good to hear." And with that she stood up. "I don't suppose I could leave you here and expect to find you here when I et back, could I?" she asked.

Izzie laughed faintly and nodded. "I'll be here Dr. Bailey." She said and watched her walk out of the room.

"Iz, you've decided to have treatment?" Meredith asked.

Izzie nodded. "Yeah, Alex talked me into it." she said.

Meredith looked surprised. "You told _Alex?_" she asked.

"Yes." She said plainly.

"And George?" she asked hopefully.

Izzie sighed. "No Mer, I can't. Not yet."

Meredith shook her head. "You need to tell him s-"

"I know. I will in my own time." she said finally.

"Okay." Meredith said, not wanting to upset Izzie right now. "Well I'll go get Dr. Montgomery and tell her I found you." She said, before walking out of the room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey Alex!" George said, seeing Alex coming out of the elevator.

Alex turned and looked at him and sighed.

"What O'Malley?" he asked.

"I asked Olivia if she'd seen Izzie, and she said she saw you two go into the on-call room earlier." George said, sounding accusatory.

Alex was a little shocked at what George was implying, but brushed it off.

"Okay." He said, turning to walk away.

"So are you saying its true?" he asked.

Alex sighed deeply and looked back at George.

"Yes. Me and Izzie talked earlier. So what." Alex said, annoyed.

"You talked?" George said, not believing him.

"Yes O'Malley, we talked."

George looked at him disbelievingly, but left it alone. "Well do you know where she is right now?" he asked.

"No I don't." he paused. "But why don't you just leave her alone. Did you ever consider that maybe this isn't about you?" Alex said harshly.

George looked taken aback. "What?"

"Just leave her alone, okay?" Alex said. And with that he turned and walked in the opposite direction.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie looked up as Addison walked into the room.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Izzie.

"Alright I guess." Izzie said.

Addison nodded. "Dr. Grey told me that you've decided to go ahead with the treatment?" Addison said, wanting to confirm it.

Izzie nodded.

"That's great." She said smiling.

"What kind of treatment will I need?" Izzie asked, even though she basically already knew.

"Well, usually for cervical cancer, we use a combination of radiation and chemo." She said, looking down at Izzie.

"But?" Izzie asked, knowing there was more to it.

"But-" Addison said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Since yours is in stage four, we will only be using chemo." She said.

Izzie nodded.

"So are you alright with that?" she asked.

"Yeah." Izzie said, even though she half just wanted to leave and never come back.

"Well in that case I have some good news and some bad news." Addison said. "The good news is that I think I can let you go home today."

"And the bad?" Izzie asked.

"You'll need to start treatment right away." she said.

Izzie sighed and nodded.

"And-"

"What?" Izzie said, not liking that there was more bad news.

"You'll need to be off of work for a week or so."

"What?! Why?" Izzie said feeling annoyed.

"Because you need to give yourself some time to heal. You may not have had the full surgery, but we did cut you open." Addison said rather bluntly.

Izzie went to say something, but decided not to. She sat back and looked at Addison.

"When do I start treatment?" she asked.

"Tomorrow." She replied. "You'll just come to the outpatient part of the hospital, and we'll be able to do everything there."

"How often will I have to get it?"

"Well it depends. Most likely we will put you on the 4 week cycle." Addison said. "Which means you'll receive the chemo for a week, and then you'll 'rest' for three weeks so that your body can produce new, healthy cells."

Izzie nodded and sighed.

"Anymore questions…or anything?" she asked.

Izzie shook her head.

"Okay, well I'll go get all the paperwork for you, and you can fill them out tonight and bring them back with you tomorrow."

After Addison left, Izzie turned to Meredith.

"At least I get to go home tonight." She said.

"Yeah." Meredith said, trying to smile, but failing.

They sat there in silence until Addison returned.

She handed the papers to Izzie and smiled. "Well you're free to go. I'll see you here at 9 a.m. tomorrow."

"Okay." Izzie said. "Dr. Montgomery" Izzie said as Addison was walking out the door.

"Thank you. For everything." Izzie said sincerely.

Addison smiled and nodded, then turned back around and left.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you to all that have been reading and reviewing my story. I do love the reviews I get...really I do! And Im sorry it has taken me this long to update. I have been extremely busy this week with school and such, and on top of that I was sick...so this has been an over all sucky week for me. But I've really been wanting to update my story, so here it finally is. I hope you all like it, and again sorry for the delay. And please read and review:-)

_**Kat**_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 8

Izzie woke up to the sound of her alarm going off. She hit the off button and opened her eyes. She sat up quickly, feeling panicked. Her first thought was that she was late for work. It was 9 o'clock, and her alarm was just going off. Then she suddenly remembered the events of the past few days. She sighed deeply, realizing that she didn't have work today. Although she did have to go in at 11 for her chemo. She sighed and pushed the covers back, crawling out of bed. She grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom for a nice hot shower.

When she was finished getting ready, she went down stairs to find Meredith sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Hey Izz, how are you feeling?" she asked.

Izzie smiled slightly. "Alright I guess, still a little sore though." She said, pouring herself some coffee. She turned around and looked at Meredith. "Why aren't you at work?" she asked.

"I have to drive you to your appointment and back." She replied, sipping her coffee.

"Meredith I think I can drive myself, I'm not crippled or anything." She said, with irritation in her voice.

Meredith shook her head. "I spoke with Addison, and she said that someone should be driving you, especially on the way back. She said you may be too tired and weak."

Izzie sighed and sat down across from Meredith, drinking her coffee.

"So you have to miss a whole day of work because of me?" she asked, feeling slightly guilty.

"No. I'm going to work for a few hours while you're doing your thing, and then I'll bring you home, and then I'll go back to work." She said, as if it was no big deal.

"Yeah, but Mer I have to do this all week." Izzie protested.

"Izzie don't worry about it. Me and Alex are going to take turns. Tomorrow he is going to take you." She said.

"But-" Izzie started.

"No Izz. We are going to help you with this whether you like it or not." Meredith said.

Izzie sighed and took a sip of her coffee. She really didn't want to put her friends out like this, but she knew it was no use to argue with Meredith about it anymore. No matter what she said, it wasn't going to change Meredith's opinion. So Izzie decided to change the subject.

"So have you seen George?" she asked.

Meredith looked up. "Yeah, he came by this morning to get a change of clothes." She said.

"Oh." Izzie replied. "Is he um, staying with Callie or something?" Izzie asked, hoping that wasn't the case.

Meredith laughed a little. "Sorry. I don't think she would ever let him stay with her after he left her." she replied.

"Oh, right." Izzie said, feeling rather stupid. "So where is he staying?" she asked.

"Believe it or not, with Cristina." She said.

Izzie felt a little surprised. "Cristina? She actually let him stay there again?" she asked.

"Well" Meredith started. "She wasn't too keen on the idea, but Burke insisted."

Izzie laughed. "So what if she walks around naked again?" she asked.

Meredith smiled. "Burke said if she tried that, George would stay and Cristina would go until George leaves." She said laughing.

Izzie smiled. "Aww poor Cristina." She said in mock sympathy.

Meredith smiled and looked at the clock. "We should probably get going. Do you want to eat something first?" she asked, seeing that Izzie hadn't eaten yet.

Izzie nodded. "Yeah, I'll grab a muffin or something." She said standing up.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Izzie arrived at the hospital, Meredith told he to come find her when she was finished. Izzie then went to go find Addison.

"Hey Izzie, how are you feeling?" Addison asked when she saw her.

"Good." She said, smiling.

"That's good." She said, smiling back. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"Is that a trick question?" Izzie asked.

Addison laughed. "Not technically." She replied, opening a door for Izzie.

"Okay, this is where you will be having your treatment at." Addison said, closing the door. "Now do you want me to explain what I will be doing, or would you like to tell me?" Addison asked.

"What?" Izzie asked, feeling confused.

"I mean, do you want to tell me, since you are still a doctor." She said smiling.

"Oh." Izzie said, feeling dumb. "Well I'll be receiving my chemo through an IV. And I'm assuming you will be putting a catheter in my chest, and leaving it there throughout the treatment." Izzie said.

"Very good. Okay, so after I put the catheter in your vein, I'll hook you up to the IV, and most likely the treatment will take about 3 hours."

"Okay." Izzie said.

"And you know you'll have to watch for infection after you leave the hospital." Addison said.

"Yeah." Izzie replied.

"Okay, well lets get this going then." Addison said smiling.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie was sitting there, hooked up to the IV for the fourth day in a row now. She was extremely tired and just wanted to go home. She tried focusing on the words in the magazine, but she couldn't seem to do it. She kept reading the same sentence over and over again. She was just about to try watching some tv when the door opened.

"Hey Izzie, how are you doing?" Addison said, smiling.

Izzie sighed and tried to give a smile, but failed. "Not so great." She said truthfully.

Addison gave her a sympathetic look. "Tired?" she asked.

Izzie nodded. "Extremely. I can't wait to go home." She said.

Addison unhooked the IV and smiled. "Well now you can. I'll send Karev in here to help you."

Izzie smiled. "Thanks."

Addison turned around walked out.

Izzie sighed and put her head in her hands. She couldn't believe how hard this chemo was already. She had only done it four times, and she already felt like she couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't hungry anymore, she was always tired, and now she was really just in pain.

"Hey." Alex said, making Izzie jump.

"Alex you could have knocked!" she yelled.

He laughed. "Sorry, I didn't think I'd scare you."

Izzie sighed. "It's okay." She said, going to stand up. She got half way up, when her arms gave out and she fell back down.

"Izz!" Alex said rushing over to her. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

Izzie took a deep breath. "Yeah I'm fine. I just seem to be kind of weak right now." she paused, looking up at him. "Do you think you could help me up?" she asked.

"Yeah. Just try to put your arms around my neck okay?" he said.

She nodded and did as she was told. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly.

He placed his arms around her and picked her up. Just then the door swung open.

"Alex, Sloan said- Izzie?" Izzie looked over Alex's shoulder to see a shocked George standing there.

"George." Izzie said.

"I can't believe this." George said, looking skeptically at the two of them, standing there with their arms wrapped around each other.

"George it's not what it-" Izzie started.

"Don't." he said, shutting the door and walking away.

Izzie looked at Alex with a lost expression on her face. "What am I going to do?" she asked.

Alex sighed. "I don't know." He said quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everyone. Thank you so much for the reviews! I love them. I love to hear what my readers have to say. And like I said, I love reviews no matter what. I appreciate anyone that has any tips or comments to for me. Well with that said, here is the next chapter. I hope everyone likes it, and as always please read and review :-)

_**Kat**_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 9

Izzie slowly sat down on the couch and sighed deeply.

"Is there anything you need before I go?" Alex asked.

Izzie didn't hear him though. She just stared ahead, trying to figure out what she was going to do. She wasn't ready for George to know, but was there really any other way to handle it. She had no other choice than to tell him now.

Alex waved a hand in front of her face.

"Hello, earth to Izzie." He said, looking at her.

She looked up at him strangely.

"What?" she asked.

"I asked if there's anything you need before I go back to work." He said.

"Oh." She said, looking down. "No."

He sighed and walked over to the door.

"Alex." She called out.

"Yeah." He said, walking back over.

"Could you-" she paused "Could you tell George I want to talk to him? And ask him if he'll stop here after work."

Alex nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled. "Thanks."

And with that he turned around and left.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat, but couldn't find anything that sounded good. She finally decided on some left over spaghetti. She put it in the microwave and leaned against the counter. She sighed deeply, wishing that she could just feel better. Ever since she started the chemo, she hadn't felt good at all. And she really couldn't stand it anymore. The microwave beeped and she took her food out. She sat down at the table to eat, when she heard a knock at the door. She sighed and stood up. She opened the door to see George staring back at her.

"George." She said, surprised that he had actually showed up.

"Look Izzie I only came over here so Alex wouldn't beat me up" he said, looking at her.

Izzie's heart dropped and she opened the door wider so he could come in.

"Well you came, that's all that matters." She lied.

She shut the door and looked at him.

"So what did you want?" he asked, as if he couldn't wait to get out of there.

"I needed to talk to you-" she paused and looked down "About earlier."

George shook his head. "You know what I don't care. You broke up with me to be with Alex, I get it." he said.

"No George, that's not true." Izzie said, looking at him.

"Really? Because you broke up with me with no explanation, and then I walked in and saw you and Alex all over each other."

"You don't understand!" she yelled.

"You're right, I don't." he said, looking at her disappointedly.

"George me and Alex aren't together. I don't feel that way towards him anymore." She tried to explain.

"Okay, well then why did you break up with me?" he asked.

Izzie sighed. "I did it to protect you."

George scoffed. "Protect me from what?"

"From hurt." She said, looking down, finding this to be the hardest thing she had ever done.

"Izzie what are you talking about?" George asked.

Izzie looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Do you remember the last time that we-" she paused "had sex?" she finished.

He looked at her feeling bewildered. "Yeah, but what does that have to-"

"Just listen!" she yelled, getting frustrated. "The last time we had sex, do you remember when I pushed you off of me and ran to the bathroom?" she asked, hoping he remembered.

"Yes, but-"

"Well it was because it started to hurt, and it freaked me out." she paused for a moment. "So I went to see Dr. Montgomery-"

"Wait why did you go see her?" he asked.

"Well because I thought it might be in her area of expertise…and it turns out I was right." She said, trying her hardest to keep back the tears that threatened to spill.

George suddenly became extremely worried. "Izzie, what do you mean you turned out to be right?" he asked, taking a step towards her.

Izzie wiped at her eyes and looked away, trying to get up the courage to tell him.

"Izzie" he said, laying a hand on her arm, forgetting everything she had put him through this past week.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith walked up her front steps and saw Alex sitting there, leaning against the wall.

"Are you locked out or something?" she asked, walking up to him.

He looked up at her and shook his head. "No, I thought I'd give them some time alone." He said, motioning over his shoulder.

Meredith looked in the window, and saw Izzie and George standing there talking.

"Is she telling him?" she asked hopefully.

Alex nodded. "Yupp."

She smiled. "That's good." She sat down next to Alex just as she heard Izzie yelling.

"_Just listen!" _

Meredith looked at the house then at Alex. "That is good, right?" she asked.

He sighed and nodded. "I think so. I'm sure it's hard, but at least she's finally telling him. I was getting sick of him constantly hounding me."

Meredith laughed slightly, looking at the house again. "Wanna go get a drink?" she asked, looking back at him again.

"Hell yes." He said, before standing up and walking over to Meredith's car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie looked up at George as a tear slid down her cheek.

"I know I should have told you sooner. But I just thought-" she paused, wiping away her tears again "I thought it would be easier this way, you know?"

"Izzie," he said, grabbing her chin so she was facing him "What is going on?" he asked, feeling concerned.

Izzie sighed. "When I went to Dr. Montgomery, I told her my symptoms and she ran some tests…" she trailed off, looking at the floor.

"And?" George asked, feeling his eyes start to sting as he made her face him again.

She looked into his eyes. "I have cervical cancer." She said with her voice cracking. "It's in stage IV." She took a steadying breath and closed her eyes briefly. She slowly opened them back up and looked at him. "It's incurable" She paused "I'm dying George."


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you everyone for the reviews. Sorry that I havent been able to reply to everyone's reviews like I said I would. I havent really had the time to keep track of them and I've just been too busy to, so I will try to just reply to them at the beginning of every chapter from now on.

**Mcalison:** Thank you so much. I'm glad you like it, and it makes me happy that you think that it is written well. :-)

**Mariele: **I know its sad, but I like to write sad stories...lol. But I'm glad you like it .

**gizziefan118:** I knew you'd be happy that she told George. You kept saying you wanted George to know, so I finally gave in. And Im so happy that you like my story, it really makes me want to write when people tell me how much they like my story :D

Well with all that said, here is the next chapter. Hope everyone likes it! Please read and review!!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 10

George sat there staring at Izzie. He was waiting. Waiting for her to jump at him and yell 'April fools!' but she didn't. And somehow he knew she wouldn't. He couldn't fathom the fact that this whole time he had been mad at Izzie, she had been going through something terrible. While he was being childish with his jealousy, Alex had been there for her, comforting her. How could he have been so blind? He should have known her better. He should have known that she loved him and that she would never try to hurt him. But somehow, somewhere, he had forgotten that. He forgot that she was Izzie. She was the woman he loved more than anything in this world. He looked at her, wondering what to say. What was there to say? What could he possibly say to her to make up for the way he had acted? He just couldn't find the right thing to say, and not because he wasn't smart enough, but because there was nothing to say. There wasn't one thing he could say to her that would compensate for the time he spent being mad at her. Finally he decided he would just start with what was bothering him the most.

"Why did you think you couldn't tell me the truth?" he asked, his voice sounding more hurt than he meant it to.

Izzie looked up at him sadly. "It's not that I couldn't-" she paused "It's just that I thought that you knowing would be harder."

He looked at her with a confused expression.

"I knew that you would constantly be breathing down my neck, asking me if I was okay." She paused again, looking at the look on his face. He looked like Bambi just after his mother was shot. Like she had been the one who shot her. "It's not that I didn't want to tell you, but George you have to see where I'm coming from." She said, feeling like a bad person.

George shook his head. "I just can't understand why you thought that I wouldn't be understanding. I would have been there for you." He said seriously.

Izzie sighed deeply. "I know you'd be understanding, but I just thought it would be easier if you thought nothing was wrong."

"Oh I see." He said, starting to get upset. "So you thought that breaking my heart and letting me believe you and Alex were back together, was easier for me?" he asked.

Izzie's eyes started to water again. "George please, that's not what was supposed to happen. I just thought that if you thought I didn't love you anymore, you'd be able to forget about me."

"What?" he asked, wondering what the hell was going threw her mind.

"I hoped you'd be able to stop loving me and that when I-" she paused, still finding it hard to say "That when I died, it wouldn't hurt you so much." She explained.

George looked at her sadly. "I could never forget about you or stop loving you." He said quietly.

"But you have to." She almost yelled. She was on the verge of hysteria.

"Why, Izzie? Why do I have to stop loving you?" he asked.

"Because I can't leave this earth knowing that I'm leaving you behind. I have to know that you'll be okay. I have to make sure you never feel the way I did when Denny died." she said, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Izzie-"

"No George. You just…don't know."

"How could I not know Izzie? My dad died!" he said standing up. "He died, and left me all alone." He said.

She looked up at him sadly. "I didn't say you don't know what its like to lose someone. I'm saying you don't know what its like to have your fiancé ripped so violently from you! You don't know how I felt when I was lying on the bathroom floor. I felt like I was moving in slow motion, and that everyone around me was moving so fast." She said her voice cracking. "I felt like I would never be whole again." She looked down at the floor, wiping the tears from her face.

"Izzie, I-" he started.

"I gave Denny my heart." She said looking back up at him. "And I never got it back."

George looked at her with tears in his eyes. He always knew Izzie would never completely get over Denny, but he didn't know she still felt this way. He never guessed that she still thought of Denny this much. Was that why she didn't tell him? Was it because she was happy that she would finally be reunited with her late fiancé? He looked at her sadly and opened his mouth to say something, but was yet again cut off.

"I never got it back, because he gave it to you." She said, trying to keep her voice steady.

George's voice caught in his throat. He had been so wrong. Boy had he been wrong. He couldn't help the tear that escaped his eye.

He walked over to Izzie and scooped her up in his arms, and kissed her. It wasn't rough and demanding, but tender and simple.

When they finally pulled out of the kiss, she just stared into his eyes. They stood there, with their arms wrapped around each other, until she suddenly pulled away.

He looked at her sadly and sighed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alex was sitting at the bar alone. Meredith had left with Derek a little while ago. So Alex stayed, and decided to let the alcohol take care of any of his problems. He had just downed another shot when he felt someone sit down next to him. He turned his head to see a very sexy woman sitting there, staring at him. He normally viewed Addison Montgomery as hott, but for some reason, tonight he found her even more attractive. He sat back slightly, taking in whole body. He let his eyes travel down her body, then back up again.

Addison looked at Alex and couldn't believe he was so obviously checking her out. When his eyes met hers again, she could see the lust that was filling his eyes. But beyond that, she could see the pain. She figured this pain was a result of the news of his friend's illness, and felt sorry for him. She already had some sort of feelings for Alex. And even though she wasn't sure what those feelings were yet, and the fact that she felt sorry for him, and the fact that he was looking at her like that, was just making her want him even more.

Alex finally took his eyes off of Addison to order another drink from Joe. As soon as Joe poured it, Alex grabbed it and gulped it down. He smacked his lips and sighed deeply.

Addison sighed and put her hand on his, making him turn toward her.

"Don't you think you should stop for tonight?" she asked, knowing he must have already had a lot of those.

He looked at her and smiled. "Why? Do you have something better for me to do?" he asked, with a smirk playing on his lips.

She looked at him wondering how he could be so blunt. She was thinking of what to say to him, when she suddenly realized he had inched closer to her. His hand was resting on her leg and she could feel his hot breath on her face. She could smell the strong alcohol on his breath. Then, he swiftly pushed his lips onto hers before she had a chance to object. A first she wanted to push him away, but she quickly melted into the kiss. She knew that this was so wrong, but for some reason, it just felt so right.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie looked at George and took a few steps away from her.

"I can't do this right now." she said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I just-" she paused "I don't have the strength anymore." She sighed. "I didn't tell you, so you wouldn't be hurt. And now that's all ruined, and I don't have the strength to have a relationship anymore. I can't make you happy."

George looked at her smiled slightly. "Don't worry about making me happy. Don't worry about having strength. I'm all the strength you'll need. I want to be here to take care of you Izzie. I love you." He finished.

Izzie, for the first time in a while, genuinely smiled. "I love you too George."


	11. Chapter 11

Hey everyone. Thanks so much for the reviews. I really loved them!!

**Mcalison:** I'm glad you liked the last chapter. And I'm really happy that you thought it was sweet. I really wanted a cute moment between them and I hoped people would like it.

**addisonkarev:** I'm glad the addex part made you happy. I put those parts in just for the few addex fans that read my story.

**gizziefan118:** Im so happy that you liked it so much. And I hope its a good thing that it made you cry. . .lol. And yey to it being your favorite so far. :D

**LizzieLovesLife:** I'm really really happy that you're reading my story and that you like it. And it makes me happy that you like it even though Addison isnt the main character. I wont have her (or Addex parts) in every single chapter since its mainly an Izzie story, but I will try to have them in as much as possible. And again thank you, I'm glad you like it. :-)

**mistysparks:** lol. I'm glad you liked the Addex part. Theres no Addex in this chapter, but I hope you read and like this one anyway. :)

Well I think thats it. And as I said theres no Addex in this chapter, but for you MerDer fans, there is a small part with them in this one. And of course theres Gizzie :-) So I hope everyone likes it and please read and review!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 11

Izzie woke up to the feel of warm arms that were snuggly wrapped around her. She smiled, remembering what had happened the previous night. Yes, it had been emotionally and physically exhausting to finally tell George the truth, but it was a big weight that had been lifted. And on top of that, George could be there now. Even though she tried so hard to avoid this, it did give her comfort that the man she loved was by her side, and not going anywhere. She sighed and lowered her head to his arm and placed a soft kiss on it. She felt him stir slightly behind her and turned her head to look at him. She saw his eyes flutter open slowly. She smiled at him and they just stared at one another. Nothing really needed to be said. She turned her body towards him and kissed him softly on the lips. That was her silent way of saying 'hello.'

He smiled at her and pulled her closer to him so that her head rested on his chest. He rested his chin on her head and briefly closed his eyes, sighing. He wished that they could stay like this forever. _Forever._ He wished he had forever. Well he would, but she wouldn't. It all seemed surreal to him. Like it was a horrible, twisted, sick dream that he could soon wake up from. But he wouldn't, he knew that, and it scared him. He wanted to just lie in bed with her all day. And just talk. They use to do that, but lately they hadn't. So when she broke up with him, he wasn't as shocked as he knew he should have been. Yes, he was shocked, but not completely. They use to be so passionate, but then they started to act like an old married couple. They argue, and there just wasn't as much spark in their relationship. And now would they ever have it. Could they ever have that fire back? He suppressed the urge to cry. He was being so selfish. Here he was, wondering about _fire_ while she was dying. _She was dying. _His Izzie was dying. And once she was gone, she would never come back.

"What are you thinking about?" Izzie asked, bringing him out of his reverie.

He looked down at her and smiled slightly. "Nothing." He lied.

She smiled and tilted her head up towards him and kissed him. "We should probably get up." she said, sitting up slowly. "I have to be there at 9."

George sighed and watched her begin to get dressed. "Do we really have to go?" he asked, knowing the answer.

Izzie sighed. "Yes. Well I do. You can stay and sleep, I'll drive myself."

George's eyes widened as he sat up. "No way."

Izzie looked at him strangely. "Okay fine."

George sighed and looked at her. "I'm sorry, it's just…you know you can't drive yourself. You told me so yourself." He said, standing up to face her.

Izzie sighed deeply as she buttoned her pants. "I know, but I just feel so helpless."

He stepped towards her and pulled her into his arms. "I know." He whispered, kissing her head.

She sighed into his chest before stepping back and looking at him. "Alright lets get this thing over with."

He nodded and then began to get dressed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bailey saw Meredith talking with Derek and immediately approached her.

"Dr Grey can I speak to you?" she asked, with an angry tone.

Meredith looked at her questioningly for a moment for nodding her head. "Yeah." She said before looking back at Derek. "I'll be right back." She said before walking away with Bailey.

Derek watched her leave and wondered why Bailey looked so mad.

"What are you doing here?" Bailey asked, looking at Meredith.

She looked back at her feeling confused. "I sort of work here Dr. Bailey." She replied.

"No, I mean why are you here so early? Isn't today your say day to bring Stevens?" she asked.

"Oh" Meredith said, as if she had just remembered. "Well it was, but George is bringing her today." She said.

Bailey looked surprised. "O'Malley knows?" she asked.

Meredith nodded.

"Oh, well in that case" she paused "You better get to work Grey." She said, as if she had no idea why Meredith was standing there.

Meredith suppressed a laugh. "Yes Dr. Bailey." She said, before walking back over to Derek.

"What was that about?" he asked, looking over at Bailey.

"Oh nothing." Meredith lied.

He watched Meredith for a moment and inwardly sighed. He knew something was up, but he couldn't get her to open up about it. He wanted to be there for her, but if she was unwilling to share things with him, then that couldn't happen. She hadn't let him come to her house all week. And that was surprising to him because they usually spent most of their time out of work at her house. And not only was he not going over to her house, but she turned down all of his offers to spend time with her lately. She always said she had other plans, or she was tired, or something like that.

"Well I'm with Sloan today so I better get going." She said.

Derek nodded and leaned down to kiss her.

She kissed him briefly on the side of the mouth, then walked away.

He sadly watched her walk away, and made up his mind that he would find out what was going on with her one way or another.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George and Izzie walked into the hospital hand in hand. He walked her to where she had her chemo treatments done and turned towards her.

"Do you want me to stay with you, because I can." He said, not really wanting to leave her.

She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "No, I'll be fine. Just go work for a little while, and I'll meet you back her at 12 ish." She said.

He smiled slightly and hugged her. "You're sure you'll be okay?" he asked, for the thousandth time.

"Yes." She said laughing and pulling away. "I've been doing this all week, I'll be okay."

George sighed and nodded. "Okay. I'll see you at 12."

"Okay." Izzie said smiling.

He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you."

"Love you too." She said before George turned and walked in the other direction.

She smiled to herself and sighed. She was glad she told him, but hopefully he would soon learn to not be so worried. And with those thoughts going through her mind, she went to prepare for the treatment.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey. Thanks to the people who reviewed my story. I really appreciate those who took the time to do so. So thank you to **Mcalison**, **gizziefan118**, and **kristen**. You guys that review my story really make me happy. I do have to say though, that it is a little discouraging to only have a few reviews. Dont get me wrong, I greatly, _greatly _appreciate the reviews I get, but I just wish more people would take just a few seconds to tell me what they think. It is, after all, the people who review my story, that keep me going. When people review my story, it makes me want to write. But when I dont get much feed back I have to wonder if theres something that Im just not doing right. I try to make this story as interesting as possible, but I wont know if I'm doing good enough if people dont tell me what they think. So this is part of the reason that I think Im going to take a break from writting this story. Not a long break, but a break. Maybe until after Christmas. Or perhaps until after New Years. I'm not sure how long it will be, but I am also having a serious writters block. I've just come to a spot where I have no idea where I am going with this story. I have certain things planned, and I think I know how I want to end it, but I just dont know how to get there. But anyway, this is why I think I need a break.

Well now that all that has been said, here is chapter 12. I hope everyone likes it, and please take two seconds of your time to review and tell me what you think of my story. Thank you. :-)

_**Kat**_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 12

Izzie laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She felt exhausted, but for some reason couldn't sleep. She just had so many things that were running through her mind. She was lost in thought, when she heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in" she called out quietly.

The door opened slowly and George poked his head in.

"Hey, dinner's ready." He said with a smile on his face.

She smiled back weakly, not saying anything.

George sighed and opened the door more and stepped in.

"You're not coming down are you?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

She sighed and shook her head.

"I just don't have the energy George." She said.

"Well do you want me to bring it to you?" he asked.

She sighed, looking at him sadly.

"No, I'm not really hungry. I think I'm just going to try and get some sleep."

George sighed and gave a half hearted smile.

"Alright, I'll let you sleep then." He leaned down and kissed her softly on the head.

He smiled at her before leaving the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_1 month later_

Izzie was sitting on the edge of her bed, trying to muster enough energy to continue getting ready. She had her pants on, but had yet to pull her shirt over head. _'This is ridiculous' _she thought to herself. It should not be taking this much out of her, just to get herself dressed. She just didn't know how much more of this she could take.

She was on the last day of her second cycle of treatment, and she just wanted to crawl up on her bed and let death take her. She was dying anyway, why not just let it happen? Why fight fate, right? She shook her head, reprimanding herself. She couldn't let these thoughts take over her. But she couldn't help thinking like that. She just couldn't really see how this chemotherapy was helping. Yeah they said it would give her more time, but was it really worth it? Was all this pain, and tiredness, and lack of appetite really worth it? _'Yes' _she told herself. It had to be.

She sighed heavily and stood up to go find a shirt to wear. She picked out a comfy looking t-shirt and put it on. After she finished getting dressed, she grabbed her brush and began brushing through recently washed hair. She was about half way done with her hair, when she glanced down and saw something that she had feared all along.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George was waiting impatiently downstairs. He knew that it took Izzie longer to get ready these days, but she was going to be extremely late for her appointment. He sighed and went upstairs to check on her. He went into her room to find that she wasn't in there.

"Izzie?" he called out.

He walked out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. The door was shut and he swore he could hear her crying.

"Izz?" he said quietly through the door.

"Go away George."

He sighed sadly.

"Izzie, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Everything." She said quietly.

He decided to try the knob, hoping she hadn't locked the door. He was glad when it turned and he pushed the door open.

He looked down to see her sitting on the floor with her head in her hands.

"What's going on?" he asked softly.

She looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"I'm falling apart." She whined.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Look" she said, running her fingers through her hair.

When she pulled her hand away from her head, she held it out for George to see. At first he didn't see it, but when he did, he had to quickly hide the shock on his face. There, sitting in her hand, was a clump of hair. He looked up at her head, to see thin patches, where hair had obviously already fallen out.

He looked at her sadly and pulled her into his arms.

"I can't take this anymore." She cried.

He sighed and rocked her back and forth. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but felt at loss for words.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Izzie and George finally arrived at the hospital it was already past 11. She was over 2 hours late for her appointment. They spotted Addison as soon as they walked in.

"Dr. Montgomery" George said as he approached her. "I'm sorry we're-"

"Late?" she finished for him, sounding irritated.

"Yes." He said. "We had some problems."

He expression suddenly changed.

"What do you mean?" she asked concerned.

George sighed as he looked at Izzie.

"I'm losing my hair." Izzie said, taking the hat she had on her head off.

Addison almost gasped when she did this. She knew all along that this could happen, but it still seemed to catch her off guard.

"Izzie, this is common for-"

"I know." Izzie said, placing the hat back on her head.

Addison sighed and looked at Izzie sadly.

"Dr. Montgomery, I don't think I can do this chemo anymore." Izzie said, trying to keep herself from crying. "I just feel miserable. It doesn't even feel like its working."

"Izzie, you've known all along that the chemo wont cure your illness." Addison reminded her, hoping Izzie hadn't been –not to be mean, but- stupid enough to think it could cure her.

Izzie nodded. "I know, it's only to make my lengthen my life expectancy." She said. "But honestly, the way it makes me feel-" she paused "I feel miserable. I'm always tired. I never have any energy to do anything. I have no appetite at all anymore. And now this." She said, motioning towards her head. "I just don't think it's worth it." she finished.

Addison sighed, trying to figure out what to say. After thinking for a minute, she came up with something.

"How about we take some tests, and see what the chemo has done so far." She said. "And if we aren't satisfied with the results, then you can quit the treatment." She suggested.

Izzie thought about it for a minute then nodded.

"Okay." She agreed.

Addison smiled.

"We'll have you do the treatment today, since it's the last day anyway, and you can come back for tests tomorrow."

"Okay." Izzie said, not really looking forward to having to have the treatment. "What kind of tests do I have to have done?" she asked.

"I'm going to schedule you for a CT." Addison said. "So that I can get a good look at where exactly the cancer is at."

Izzie nodded and sighed. "Okay. Well then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that, Izzie headed over to have her last treatment for the month.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie was sitting there, waiting nervously. _'What was taking Addison so long with the results?' _she wondered. She was extremely scared. She truly hated the chemo, but if it was working at all, then she would continue it. Anything to stall what was to come. She was thinking about going to find Addison, when the door swung open.

Addison walked in and sat down across from Izzie.

"Well?" Izzie asked, feeling impatient.

Addison looked at her solemnly.

Izzie stared back at her, suddenly not wanting to know the results. She suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here.

"It didn't work did it?" she asked.

"No, it didn't." Addison said quietly. "You were unresponsive to the treatment."


	13. Chapter 13

Hey everyone, I'm back. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years! And thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I was really pleased with how many reviews I got! So thank you very much to the people that took the time to do so. I want to thank Dr.Gizzie, ga-4-ever, Mcalison, Kristen, gizziefan118, mistysparks, LizzieLovesLife, and ioi123. I really really appreciate you guys for reviewing my story! I loved all of your reviews! And I'm sorry about the wait, but I just really needed that break. And this chapter is extra long, so maybe people wont be so mad at me for taking the break. Well I hope everyone likes it, and please read and review :-)

_**Kat**_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 13

Izzie stared at Addison with a complete blank look on her face. What was she trying to tell her? She had heard what she said, but she hadn't quite understood it.

"I'm unresponsive." She repeated more to herself than to Addison.

Addison sighed and looked at Izzie sadly.

"Yes. The tests show that you were unresponsive to the chemotherapy." She paused and grabbed Izzie's hand. "I'm so sorry Izzie." She said sincerely.

Izzie looked up at her with tears in her eyes. She stared at her for a moment before suddenly jerking her hand away.

Addison looked startled as Izzie stood up and headed toward the door. Before she opened it she turned back around to face Addison.

"So this-" she paused, trying to calm herself. "This treatment was all for nothing."

Addison sighed sadly. "Izzie I'm so-" she began.

"No" Izzie said. "Don't say it." she paused as she paced in front of her. "I went through all of it. I did the damn chemo. I went through the 3 to 4 hours of being hooked up to that damn thing. I stopped being hungry. I am constantly tired. I never have energy to do anything." She paused again, looking at Addison. "I lost my freaking hair!" she yelled.

She turned her head and wiped the tears away.

"And it was all for nothing. _Nothing._" She whispered.

Addison stood up and grabbed Izzie's shoulders.

"Listen Izzie, you knew from day one that this treatment wouldn't cure you. You knew that the best possible scenario was that it would make your life a little longer. And you also knew that there was a big chance that it wouldn't work at all."

"No." Izzie said, trying to get away from Addison. "If I knew that, there's no way I'd put myself through that hell."

Addison shook her head.

"You did. You did know that. You're a doctor Izzie. You know all about cancer and treatments. You know that in stage IV cervical cancer, there is a huge possibility that the patient may be unresponsive to treatment. So don't pretend like you didn't know. You knew."

Addison paused as she fought back her own tears. "But I still believe that you made the right choice. I still think it's always better to put up a fight. Because if you never tried treatment, I think you'd regret it. And you'd always wonder what would have happened if you at least_ tried_."

Izzie looked down feeling ashamed. She knew that she shouldn't have flipped out at Addison, but she needed to take it out on someone. She needed to vent somehow. She had so many emotions running through her, that she didn't know what to do with them.

She looked back up at her and gave a fake smile.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

Addison smiled slightly and hugged her.

"You're welcome."

Izzie pulled out of the hug and hurried out of the room. She had to get away from the hospital as soon as possible.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George was standing by the nurse's station when he saw Meredith.

"Hey" he said when she approached him.

"Hi" she said back and smiled. "You here with Izzie?" she asked, seeing that he wasn't in scrubs.

"Yeah" he said sighing.

"How is she?" she asked.

"Fine I guess. You should know. You do live with her."

Meredith sighed and leaned against the counter.

"I know. But she won't talk to me anymore. It seems like the only person she'll talk to now is you."

George looked at Meredith sadly.

"I'm sure she'd talk to you. It's just with her always sleeping, and you always at work, it's probably just hard to find time." he said, trying to find an excuse for her.

"Right" she said, rolling her eyes.

George sighed. "Well she should have time to talk to you tonight. She didn't have treatment so she won't be as tired."

Meredith furrowed her eye brows.

"I thought you said you were here with her." she said, looking confused.

"I am. But she had to come in to have some tests done to see how much progress there is." He explained.

"Ah" she said.

George looked at his watch and sighed.

"I sure wish I knew what was taking so long. She's been gone for hours, and she refused to let me go in with her."

Meredith sighed and looked at him.

"I'm sure she'll be out soon and everything will be fine." She said reassuringly.

"I hope so" he said, looking in the other direction.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie walked out of the hospital unnoticed. She had grabbed her stuff and hurried out. She knew George would yell at her for leaving with out him, but right now what she needed was to be alone. And if he took her home he would know something was up, and therefore not leave her alone.

She grabbed a taxi and got in, telling him to take her home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Addison was walking down the hallway when she ran into someone. Her files slipped out of her hands and flew all over the floor.

"God, can't people watch where the hell they're going?" she yelled, bending down to pick up her files.

"Sorry" A familiar voice said, bending down to help her.

She looked up to see Alex looking at her.

"Oh it's you." She said, sounding more rude than she meant.

"Well it's nice to see you too." he said smirking.

She sighed and ignored him, picking up her stuff. She stood up as Alex handed her the rest of her things.

"Thanks" she said, turning to walk away.

"Hey" he said, stopping her. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, looking at her.

"Nothing" she lied.

Alex looked into her eyes, trying to figure it out.

"It's Izzie isn't it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

She sighed and looked around quickly, before ushering him into the on-call room. She set her filed on a chair and sat on the bed, sighing.

She felt him sit down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's going on?" he asked.

She looked at him and tried to hide her emotions.

"I ran a CT on her today to see how much progress she had made." She said quietly. "And it showed the she was unresponsive." She finished.

Alex felt his eyes sting as he listened to her. He was close to Izzie. He cared about her. And the way this seemed to be affecting Addison also hurt. He started to have deep feelings for this girl. He didn't know where the hell they came from, but they were there. Everything he was feeling was all jumbled together and it confused him.

He reached out and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Does she know?" he asked.

She nodded her head slightly.

"I just told her." she said as a tear slid down her cheek.

Alex wiped the tear away with his thumb and made her look at him.

"This isn't your fault." He said, looking into her eyes.

"I encouraged her to go ahead with the treatment. I asked Bailey to talk her into it." she said.

"You did what you thought was best." He said.

"No I didn't." she said, more tears falling from her eyes. "I knew. Deep down I knew the treatment wouldn't work. She was in the last stage, but I still put her through that. She suffered so much, and its all my fault."

Alex pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"No it isn't." he said firmly. "And you have to stop thinking like that. You would have never put her though that if you didn't think there was the slightest chance it could work. You are a caring and loving person, and you would never purposely hurt someone." He said, trying to console her.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes. She stared at him for a moment before pulling his face to hers.

He responded to her immediately and placed a hand on the back of her head. His kiss wasn't hungry like the previous one, but soft, and searching. He carefully laid her back onto the bed and kissed her passionately.

She kissed him back, letting all her emotions out in the process.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie walked into the house and locked the door behind her. She sighed as she walked into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. As usual, nothing sounded good, so she shut the door and walked over to the cupboard. She was about to close that too when something caught her eye.

She reached out for the bottle but paused. She knew that drinking probably would make her feel any better. It would most likely make her feel worse. But did she really care? She was in so much pain anymore that she just didn't seem to care. And now that she had gone through all the pain for nothing, just made it even worse.

So she grabbed the bottle of vodka and twisted the cap off. She took a long gulp of it and smacked her lips together. It definitely burned going down, but somehow she already felt slightly better.

She was about to grab a glass, when she spotted a bottle of pills sitting on the counter. She picked it up to see whose it was. They were Meredith's sleeping pills.

Izzie stood there, staring at the bottle of pills that she held in her hands. She looked at them, wondering if it would be alright to take some. What could it hurt? She was having trouble sleeping at night. It's not like Meredith would really mind. She would understand if Izzie took some.

Izzie opened the bottle and poured a few into her hand. She paused looking at them for a minute, before pouring more into her hand. Meredith wouldn't mind right? After all, she probably needed them right now more than Meredith did anyway.

She popped the pills into her mouth and took a swig of the vodka. She sighed and went to go sit at the table to finish her drink.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alex and Addison walked out of the on-call room and were about to go their separate ways when George came up to them.

"Dr. Montgomery!" he called out.

She turned around and looked at him.

"O'Malley what are you doing here?" she asked, wondering why he wasn't at home with Izzie.

"What do you mean? I've been waiting for Izzie. She had her appointment today right?" he asked.

"Well yeah" she said, starting to get concerned. "But she left my office a long time ago."

George looked at her as he got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"She never came to find you?" Alex said.

George shook his head. "No. I waited where I said I would the whole time. I just now came to find her."

Addison gave Alex a knowing look.

"What?" George said, looking from one to the other.

Addison sighed and looked at George sadly.

"She was unresponsive to the treatment. And when I told her, she didn't handle it very well." She said.

"Do you think she could have gone home?" he asked worriedly.

Addison sighed. "It's a good possibility." She said.

George suddenly felt panicked.

"Okay Alex, you look around her. I'm going to go home and see if she's there." he said.

"Okay" Alex said as George turned around and ran in the other direction.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George pulled into the driveway and ran up the front steps. He tried the knob and found it locked. He took this as a good sign, figuring if she were here, the door would be unlocked. He unlocked the door and stepped in.

"Izzie" he called out as he shut the door. "Are you here?" he asked, to what he thought was an empty house.

He looked in the living room and didn't see her.

"Izzie" he said as he ran up the stairs.

He knocked softly on her door before walking in. He sighed, seeing she wasn't in there either.

He went back down the stairs, wondering where the hell she could be. He was about to leave when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

He turned his head and saw Izzie lying on the floor.

"Izzie!" he said, running over to her.

He looked up and saw the almost empty bottle of alcohol on the table.

"Izzie" he yelled, rolling her over onto her back. She was unconscious.

"Izzie" he whispered, grabbing a hold of her hand. And that's when he noticed the empty pill bottle she had, clutched in her hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

George sat there with everyone else. And like everyone else, he felt empty. Like a piece of him was missing. Only he felt like half of his heart was gone. Like the other half of it was lying with Izzie in that box. That white and gold rectangular box, that no one could tear their eyes away from. He could hear someone speaking, but their voice sounded so far away.

His eyes stung as he looked up into the unusually sunny sky. Yes, it was a nice, beautiful, warm, and sunny day in Seattle. But to him, it didn't feel so. It felt like a cold, cloudy, despairing day. He just wished she was here with him, to witness this rare beautiful day with him. Then he could truly enjoy it.

He was dragged from his thoughts as he felt Meredith stand up, and walk towards the podium. She stood up there and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Izzie was, as most of you know, a great, bright, and wonderful person." She paused as she looked around at all the people who were sitting before her. "She was, as some would say, the life of the party. She always brought a smile to my face. She always tried her hardest to cheer people up when they were down. Even if she was hurt badly on the inside, she made sure her friends were okay before even thinking about her own problems."

She paused again, but this time to briefly wipe her eyes. She took another shaky breath and smiled slightly before continuing.

"When I first learned of her cancer, I- I didn't really ever process it. I ran away and tried to pretend it wasn't there, because that was what was easier for me to do. Izzie, she would never have done that. She would have sat there with me everyday, and told me to get off my ass and live what life I had left to the fullest."

She paused yet again, looking at the ground, trying to find the strength to go on. It would be so much easier if Izzie were here. She would tell her the right words to say. She would tell her that everything would be okay, and that this pain wouldn't last forever. She looked back up at everyone with tears in her eyes and breathed deeply, and continued.

"Izzie was-" she paused, suddenly hating the past tense in which she had been referring to her friend "Izzie is one of the greatest people I have ever, or will ever meet. She is more than just my friend, she's my family. And I-" she stopped again, finding it unbearable to stand in front of these people anymore. "I miss her."

She put her hands over her face and cried.

Derek walked over to Meredith and led her to her seat. He put his arms around her and let her cry on his shoulder. He rocked her slightly, trying to soothe her, praying that she would be okay. Because honestly, he wasn't sure she would ever recover from this. After everything she had been through, he knew that this was just too much for her. Yes, Meredith had known Izzie was going to die, but she didn't expect it to happen this soon. She had expected to have more time. She needed more time. And now she didn't have that.

George stared at Meredith and Derek. He wanted to go over and console her, but he felt immobile. He felt as though he was glued to his seat, and would have to sit here, at Izzie's grave, forever.

He looked up as he saw the priest standing there, throwing a handful of dirt onto the coffin as it was being lowered into the round.

"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. George wake up."

George looked up, feeling completely confused.

"What?" he said, finding his voice.

"Wake up," the priest said, but for some reason, he sounded like Meredith.

Suddenly George opened his eyes, and looked around. He sat up, feeling very strange. He looked at Meredith, standing above him, looking at him with concern. He stood up and realized he had been sleeping in the hallway of the hospital.

"Izzie-" he started.

"Is fine," she said, smiling slightly. "They had to pump her stomach, but she'll be okay. I figured you'd want to see her first," she said, motioning towards the door.

He smiled slightly and said thanks before running into Izzie's room. He walked in and saw her lying there, hooked up to different machines, looking extremely pale.

"Oh God, Izzie," he said, walking over and kissing her gently on the head.

She looked up at him sadly.

He stood back and looked at her.

"Why?" he asked.

"I wanted it to stop," she said simply.

"The pain?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Well why didn't you say something to Dr. Montgomery? She could have prescribed you some pain medication."

Izzie sighed slightly.

"It wasn't just the physical pain George. I couldn't stand knowing that at the end of each day, it was one day less I had to live."

"Izzie, everyday anyone lives it one day less for them, not just you," he said, trying to reason with her.

"Yeah, but not everyone only has less than a year," she replied.

"What?" he asked.

Izzie sighed and looked away.

"Izzie, what do you-" he began.

"I'm tired, so could you leave so I can get some sleep?" She said, not looking at him.

"Yeah," he said, feeling defeated. He glanced at her one last time, before he left the room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A little while later, Meredith walked into Izzie's room and sat down by her bed. She waited there patiently, for Izzie to wake up.

Finally Izzie stirred and opened her eyes, and looked at Meredith.

"Why'd you do it Izz?" she asked.

Izzie could barely stand George asking her questions, but it was worse with Meredith. They had, after all, been her pills that she took.

"Those were my pills. If anyone was going to go out with them, it'd be me," Meredith said.

Izzie sighed. "I don't know. I hadn't intended on taking them. But then I saw them, and it just seemed like a good thing to do."

"Izzie, killing yourself should never sound like 'A good thing to do,'" She said seriously.

"Mer I'm so sorry," Izzie said, trying to hold back the tears. "The past 2 months, have been extremely hard. And then today-" she paused "I just needed everything to go away. So I went home, found the alcohol, and thought it would help. And then when I found your pills, I thought, hey why not? Why not take a few, what's the worse that could happen? And then I thought about it, and realized how much easier things would be if it all just ended now."

Meredith looked at Izzie sadly, not really sure what she could say to that. What could she say that would actually help Izzie?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alex sat there, on the end of her bed, trying to understand what was going through her head.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked.

Izzie sighed, wishing he would go away.

"Alex I don't need this from you," she said, looking at him.

"Oh what like I do?" he asked, raising his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't need this. I don't need you trying to kill yourself," he said, rather bluntly.

"Well I never asked you to worry about it, so why are you?" she said, coldly.

He looked at her with a disgusted expression.

"Well it's not like I planned on it. It's not like I planned on caring. But I do. I care about you Izzie, and this needs to stop."

Her eyes watered as she looked at him.

"I just want it to stop," she said.

"Like I don't! You're not the only one who is going through this. We all are. This hurts as just as much Izzie, and you pulling stupid shit like this just makes it that much harder for all of us. What if George hadn't found you in time? What if they weren't able to save you? Do you know what that would have done to all of us?" he asked, feeling extremely frustrated with her.

"Alex I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"Yeah, obviously," he said, meanly.

Izzie looked at him, and then suddenly broke down in tears.

"I never meant to hurt anyone Alex. I never wanted that," she cried.

Alex sighed and moved closer to her, putting his arms around her.

"I know," he said quietly. "Just-" he paused, looking at her "Promise you'll never try something like that again," he said.

"I promise."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shortly after Alex left, Cristina walked in and sat in the chair that Meredith had been in.

"So is this where I come in here and interrogate you?" she asked.

"I think so," Izzie replied.

"Oh, well okay, why did you do it?" she asked, sounding rather bored.

"You don't have to ask, everyone else already did," Izzie said.

"Oh, well in that case-" she moved to stand up.

"You're Jewish," Izzie said.

Cristina looked at her strangely.

"Yes, I know," she said.

"You believe in God right?" she asked.

"Where are you going with this?" she asked.

"Do you believe that he really decides when people die?"

"I don't know…" she replied.

"Because if that's true, then why are their doctors? I mean, if God wants someone to die, then they'll die whether they see a doctor or not."

Cristina just sat there and stared at her, wondering what kind of meds they had her on.

"And I figure why let God control when I die. I don't need God to tell me when to die. And if I do have some sort of time limit, then why should I be the one who decides?"

Cristina finally realized what she was saying.

"Izzie, you-"

"No, let me finish!" she yelled. "I get to decide. Not some other doctor, not God, me. I get to say when and where I die. I get to have a say in when I leave this world. So that's why I did it. Because I may not have a say in whether my hair falls out, or if I feel weak when I wake up in the morning, but I will have a say in my death!" her eyes watered as she looked at Cristina.

"Izzie you don't get a say," Cristina said quietly.

"Well I should!" she yelled.

Cristina stood up and rested a hand on Izzie shoulder.

"But you don't."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George walked in later than night, and found her to be wide awake.

"Hey" he said.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"For what?" he asked.

"Everything. For putting you through this. For yelling at you earlier and kicking you out."

He smiled slightly and kissed her softly on the lips.

"I love you no matter what. You could yell at me until you're blue in the face, but I'll never stop loving you."

She smiled and looked into his eyes.

"I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

Hey, I would like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing my story. I would especially like to thank mimimarie, ga-4-ever, Mcalison, Izziefan, mistysparks, and gizziefan118 for reviewing the last chapter. And Im sorry that it has taken me so long to update, but I have been really busy with school because of mid-terms. . .so yeah. So anyway here is the next chapter and I hope everyone likes it and please please read and review:-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 15

Izzie was discharged from the hospital 3 days after she had been admitted. George took her home and also had the rest of the day off so he could look after her. Though she wasn't too keen on this idea, she agreed and just decided to ignore him all day.

"Izzie, it was the chief's suggestion. The _chief!_" he said, following her up the stairs.

She continued to ignore him and shut the door in his face when he tried to follow her into her room.

"Izzie, you can't ignore me forever. I sleep in there too," he said, leaning his head against the door.

She sat down on her bed and sighed deeply. She really wanted to just let George in and lay in his arms, but she was too stubborn to let him know that. The only reason she wasn't letting him in was the fact that he was there to baby sit her. Yeah, he said the chief just thought Izzie would need a little help because she didn't have much energy, but she knew better. The chief really just thought she was going to try and take the easy way out again. No one trusted her anymore, and that was what bothered her.

"Izzie, can I please come in. Please?" he begged.

She sighed again as she stood up to turn her radio on. She faintly heard him call her name again before she turned her radio up. She walked back over to her bed and laid down. So what if she was acting like a pissed off teenager? Who cares? As long as she was getting her point across it didn't really matter how she did it.

George stepped back when he heard the music being turned up louder. He knew there was no way in hell Izzie was talking to him right now. He wished she would listen to him. Not only was she not talking to him, but she wouldn't even acknowledge that he was speaking, and that bugged him.

He admitted defeat and went downstairs to make some coffee. This was definitely going to be a long day.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Derek spotted Meredith walking down the hallway alone and decided to seize this opportunity to talk to her. He ran after her and caught up to her quickly.

"Meredith," he said when he was next to her.

She turned her head an looked at him.

"Derek," she said, acknowledging him.

"How are you?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and kept walking.

"Fine."

He sighed and put a hand on her arm.

"Are you sure? Because I haven't really seen you at all lately. And I know with Izzie's attempt to end her life you have a lot on your plate, but-"

"It's not just that Derek," she said, sighing deeply as she looked at him.

"Well then what is it Meredith? You know I'm here for you, no matter what," he said looking at her intently.

"A month or two ago, Izzie found out that she has stage IV cervical cancer," she said looking down.

"My God," Derek said looking down at Meredith sadly.

"And there's not cure," she paused looking up at him with tears in her eyes "She's dying Derek."

Derek wrapped him arms around her and rested his chin on her head.

"If there's anything I can do-"

"There is," she said looking up at him. "Could you come over tonight and help with something?" she asked.

He smiled at her. "Of course," he said before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George had been sitting downstairs for no more than 30 minutes, but he felt the need to go check on Izzie. He knew this would probably irritate her, but he had to be sure she was okay. After what happened last time, he couldn't take the chance of something like that ever happening again.

So with that thought in mind, he set down his coffee and headed up the stairs to check on her. He knocked softly on her door, and when he didn't hear any movement, he assumed the worse and barged in.

"Izzie are you-"

He never even considered that she may still be mad at him and ignoring him, and that was precisely why he received one of the worst looks he could ever imagined from Izzie.

"Izzie, I just-"

"Just what George?" she said standing up. "Just thought I killed myself. Just thought, 'hey let's treat her like a baby! Maybe that will keep her happy!'" she yelled.

George just stood there, dumbfounded. Whatever he had expected to see, this was definitely not it.

"No, George, I don't want to kill myself anymore. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. Yes it was stupid, I realize that. But if you keep crowding me and treating me like a damn child, then how will you ever really know that I'm okay?" she yelled, feeling all of her emotions, no matter what they were, pouring out onto George.

"Izzie I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I don't mean to treat you like a kid, but I couldn't live with myself if I ever let anything happen to you," he said, feeling his eyes sting slightly.

Izzie sighed deeply as she looked at George. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but she just needed him to know that she was a big girl and she could take care of herself.

"I'm sorry George. But I just really need to be alone right now," she said, looking at him sadly.

He nodded and turned around, closing the door behind him.

Izzie sighed and laid back down on her bed. What she really needed right now was sleep. And no sooner had the thought crossed her mind, and she fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Addison was walking out of the hospital, ready to go home, when Alex approached her.

"Hey," he said as he walked next to her.

"Hey," she said back.

"Are you up for a drink?" he asked.

She stopped walking and looked at him.

"What are we going?" she asked.

"Excuse me?"

"What are we doing? We do this weird flirting thing that everyone in Seattle seems to do, but we never talk about it," she said looking at him.

Alex sighed and shrugged.

"Would it be bad if I told you I don't really know?" he asked.

She smiled laughed slightly and smiled.

"No, it wouldn't."

He stared at her for a moment, wondering what in the hell that meant.

"Joe's?" she asked.

Alex smiled and nodded and they continued their walked out of Seattle Grace.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith and Derek walked into her house to find George sitting in the kitchen with a magazine and a cup of coffee.

"Hey George," she said as she set her bag down.

"Hey Mer," he said and looked up and noticed Derek standing there. "Hello Dr. Shepherd."

"Call me Derek," he insisted.

"Okay," George said knowing he would feel really weird calling him by his first name.

"Where's Izzie?" Meredith asked.

George sighed.

"She's upstairs. We kind of had an argument," he said.

"George!" Meredith said, looking at him.

"Hey its not my fault. She's pissed at me because I stayed here to keep an eye on her."

"Oh," she said and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Well did she really think we'd just forget what happened? I mean after what she-"

She stopped mid sentence when Derek cleared his throat loudly. She looked over and saw Izzie standing in the doorway.

"Izz," she said, surprised to see her.

"After I what?" she asked, feeling a little irritated.

"Izz, look I just meant that I'm worried about you. I have every right to be and you know it."

Izzie stared at Meredith for a minute before sighing sitting down.

"So," Derek said, hoping to change the subject "What was it you needed me to help you with?" he asked Meredith.

Meredith glanced at Izzie quickly, decided whether she should do this in front of Izzie or not. She decided she better, because if Izzie found out she didn't want her to know, that would only upset her.

"I need you to help me get rid of all the alcohol in the house," she said, looking at him and smiling slightly.

"Oh," he said and also glanced at Izzie. "I'll help of course, but do you really need my help?" he asked.

Meredith sighed and nodded.

"Well yeah. I don't exactly trust myself. If I would have come home and done it myself, I highly doubt any of that alcohol would have made it to the garbage."

"Ah, I see," he said, looking at her. "And you think you wont be able to just go and grab it out of the garbage tomorrow?" he asked.

"Oh, I didn't really think about that," she admitted, feeling rather dumb.

Derek smile and laughed.

"How about we dump it in the toilet or something?" he asked.

Meredith smiled and kissed him.

"I knew there was a reason I had you come over," she said as she looked up at him.

"This is because of me, isn't it?" Izzie asked.

Meredith sighed and looked at Izzie.

"Yeah," she confessed.

"Look, you don't have to get rid of all the alcohol because of what I did," she said, feeling very guilty at the moment.

Meredith sighed and walked over to Izzie.

"It's not just that. And its not that I think you'll do it again, so don't even say it. But it will be just sitting her all day, tempting you. And not just you, but everyone else in this house. I can guarantee you that everyone here has thought about going through the cupboards and pouring themselves a drink. That alcohol is bad for all of us, so this is just an excuse to get rid of it."

Izzie smiled for the first time in a while.

Meredith smiled back before opening the cupboard and pulling a few bottle out.

"Well lets get this done with before I change my mind," she said half jokingly and handed some of them to Derek.


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you to mimimarie, gizziefan118, and Mcalison for reviewing the last chapter! I really appreciate everyones reviews. Although -Im sure for anyone who reads my little (or big) notes at the beginnings are very tired of hearing this-, but I really really wish I got more reviews. I know more than 3 people read chapter 15. And Im sure other people read my story from chapter to chapter, so would it really kill you to review? And I've had people that appologized for not reviewing a chapter or whatever, and that isnt necessary. I understand how it is when you cant read and review, trust me. But for those who just dont bother to take the time to review, I really wish you would. I only keep writing this story for those who are continual readers and reviewers. You guys that review my story are the whole reason Im even still writing, seriously, you are. Its just a little discouraging when I get on and see I only got 3 reviews. I mean, dont get me wrong, I am vert grateful for those 3, because each one means a lot to me, Im just greedy for reviews I guess :-) lol. Well I just wanted to say that b/c I have have been really struggeling for motivation to continue this story, and believe me, reviews are strong motivators. Well anyway, thats it, so I'll stop ranting so you all can read my story. Hope you all like and please please. . .yeah you guessed it. . .review!!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 16

Izzie woke up to the sound of the alarm going off. She groaned and shut it off. She turned over and laughed quietly to herself at the site before her. George was lying there with a big drool spot on his pillow. She smiled and shook him slightly.

"George wake up," she said in a slightly groggy voice.

His eyes fluttered open slowly and he smiled as he realized who it was.

"Hey," he said rather goofily.

Izzie laughed and shoved him slightly as he tried to kiss her.

"George you drooled all over your pillow!" she slightly yelled, trying not to laugh.

He looked down at his pillow and grew red. He wiped his mouth off and pulled Izzie closer to him.

"So what I don't get a good morning kiss anymore?" he asked.

She smiled and kissed him on the lips. She pulled back and just smiled at him.

"You better get ready for work, or you'll be late," she said, her smile faltering slightly.

His smile faded as well before he kissed her softly on the cheek.

"I shouldn't be home too late tonight," he said, trying to cheer her up.

She smiled slightly and nodded.

"Okay"

And with that George stood up and went to take a shower.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Addison was rushing around her hotel room, looking for purse so she could get the hell out of there. This was so wrong. Whatever her and Alex were doing was undoubtedly wrong, but sometimes…

She glanced over at his half naked, sleeping form and sighed. Sometimes it just felt so damn _good._

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts. She needed to get out of there so when he woke up she wouldn't have to have the awkward conversation of 'yeah we really did it…again.'"

She finally found her purse and had her hand on the door handle when she heard him speak.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked slyly.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. All she could think was_ 'crap!'_

She sighed and turned around to face him.

"Oh, hey, um I wanted to go into work early today and-"

"You didn't want to disturb me…right," he said and got out of bed, sliding his pants on.

She sighed and looked at him.

"Look, its not that I don't like you-" she started.

"But?" he said, knowing there was a 'but' there somewhere.

"But…this is just very unprofessional," she concluded.

Alex scoffed as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Please. Everyone at that hospital is 'unprofessional.' Everyone sleeps with everyone, that's just how it is," he said walking up to her. "We are two, consenting adults that are just looking for a good time," he said, once he was standing directly in front of her.

Addison stood there, hoping against hope that he was lying.

"Right, two consenting adults." She falsely agreed.

Alex moved slightly closer to her and smirked.

"Unless there's something else," he said, his face dangerously close to hers.

She stared into his eyes for a moment as if hypnotized.

"No," she said after a moment and laughed in a high, squeaky voice.

Alex grinned and his lips came crashing down onto her's.

She instantaneously dropped her purse and wrapped her arms around him.

After a few minutes of some vigorous making out, Alex stepped back and smiled.

"Well I'll see you at work, _Dr. Montgomery_," he said before opening the door and walking out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith woke up to see Derek lying there, staring at her. She sighed and looked right back at him.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked.

He shrugged slightly and smiled.

"Not long," he replied.

"Is there a reason for it?"

"No, I was just thinking," he said, still smiling.

"About what?" she said, laughing slightly.

"Us"

"Us?"

"Us," he repeated.

"Well what about us?" she asked.

"Nothing really. I'm just glad you asked for my help last night"

"Me too," she said and smiled.

He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips.

After a moment he pulled away and sniffed at the air.

"Do you smell that?" he asked.

Meredith mimicked him and sniffed too.

"Smells like Izzie's up," she said laughing slightly.

"Mmm," he said, licking his lips.

"What you're actually going to eat her food? You're not going to stick to your healthy cereal?" she asked, laughing.

"Why not? This is going to be a good day no matter what, so why not have some very unhealthy, fattening, greasy breakfast?" he paused for a moment "And besides it smells great!"

Then he stood up, pulling Meredith up with him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie was rummaging through the fridge when she head footsteps behind her. She turned around to see Meredith and Derek standing there. She smiled brightly and closed the fridge.

"Omelet?" she asked looking from one to the other.

"You bet," Derek said as he sat down.

Izzie arched her eyebrows in surprise.

"What? Mr. Health nut wants a cheesy omelet?" she asked, laughing slightly.

"Haha, funny. And yes I would love an omelet, only if you're up to it of course," he said.

Izzie smiled and cracked an egg open.

"Mer?"

"Yeah, sure," she said, turning on the coffee.

Derek stood up and kissed Meredith on the cheek.

"Be right back," he said and went upstairs.

Meredith wanted to seize on this opportunity to talk to Izzie. She looked at her and sighed, thinking of what exactly she wanted to say. She was about to say something, when she noticed Izzie looked sort of, off. She looked…different. Like she was really pale or…something. _No not pale_, but different. She was about to question her about it when she heard the front door open.

"Alex?" Izzie called out, figuring that's who it was.

Alex walked in a moment later and looked at Izzie and Meredith.

"What're you doing?" he asked, hoping they wouldn't ask where he had been.

Izzie laughed slightly.

"How about what were _you_ doing?" she asked.

"Yeah, where were you?" Meredith asked.

"Nowhere," he lied.

Izzie laughed as she flipped the omelet over.

"Ooo were you with a certain hott red headed doctor last night?" Izzie asked, smiling.

"What about a read headed doctor?" Derek asked, walking back in the room.

Derek looked at Derek with a strange expression.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd, I didn't know you were here."

Derek looked at Meredith questioningly then looked back at Alex when he realized what they were talking about.

"Oh," he said half smiling. "You and Addison?" he paused briefly "huh," he said sitting down.

Alex looked at Izzie with an irritated expression and almost knocked George over as he hurried out of the room.

George looked behind him at Alex before turning back around and looking at Izzie.

"Hey," he said, kissing her on the cheek "You're cooking! Does this mean you're actually hungry?" he asked excitedly.

Izzie laughed lightly.

"No, but I thought I'd do something nice for you guys," she said, averting her eyes.

George's smile faltered as he looked at her. He really wished she would just feel better. He studied her for a moment and noticed she truly didn't look well. He wondered if she had been throwing up all night or something, because she seemed off color. He didn't remember her getting out of bed or anything last night, but then again he was knocked out pretty good.

He decided he was just imagining it and shook it off. He walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself some.

"Okay, who's hungry?" Izzie asked smiling.

Meredith smiled at her and went to grab some plates out of the cupboard.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meredith pulled on her coat and looked at Izzie.

"Are you sure you'll be okay here alone today?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll be fine, just go," she said, ushering her out the door.

"Okay, I'll hold you to it," she said smiling and walking down the steps. "See you after work," she called out and followed Derek to the car.

George stood there and just looked at her.

"What?" Izzie asked, wondering why he had been staring at her like that all morning.

"Nothing," he said, finally looking into her eyes. "I just love you, that's all," he said smiling slightly.

She smiled back and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I love you too George," she said quietly "Now go to work…and don't you dare ask me if I'll be okay," she added as he opened his mouth.

He shut his mouth and sighed and turned around.

"Bye!" she called as he got into the car.

She stood at the door as she watched them drive away. She sighed and walked into the kitchen to clean up. She grabbed one of the plates off of the table but dropped it when she felt a pain under her ribcage. The plate crashed to the floor and broke into a bunch of pieces as it scattered across the floor. She dropped to her knees and clutched at the area where it hurt. Her eyes watered slightly from the severity of the pain. She took deep breaths and just tried breathing through the pain.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George was paged to the ER and when he got there he saw Bailey standing there, looking at him with and angry look on her face.

"What took you so long O'Malley?" she asked, angrily.

"Sorry Dr. Bailey," he said quietly.

"Whatever, we have a 23 year old male with a possible concussion and-"

After that, George wasn't quite sure what Bailey said. He happened to look up when he saw the paramedics bring someone in on a stretcher. He dropped whatever he had been holding onto at the time and ran over to them. He stopped and his breath hitched when he saw the person up close. It was Izzie.


	17. Chapter 17

Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I was really happy with the reviews. They made me really want to update quicker (even tho it still took me a while). So thank you xoxellexox, Izziefan, katherineheiglfan4life, mistysparks, Mcalison, brightandshiney, gizziefan118, and mimimarie for reviewing! Well anyway here is the next chapter. I hope everyone likes it and please read and review:-)

_**Kat**_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 17

George sat on the floor outside of Izzie's room, waiting to be told what happened. He had absolutely no idea what was going on beyond the door. He sighed and put his head in his hands. He didn't know how this happened. He didn't even know _what_ happened at this point. All he knew was she was brought into the ER unconscious.

He was about to go find Meredith and inform her about Izzie, when the door swung open. He jumped up and looked at Dr. Bailey.

"Is she-"

"Yes," Bailey said.

"Can I-"

"Yes," she said again and moved aside for George to pass.

George hurried into the room and looked down at Izzie, lying there on the bed, looking up at him.

"Izz…" he said, looking at the cut on her forehead.

She tried to smile, but failed.

"Hey," she said.

He walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up her hand and kissed it gently.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

"I'm not really sure," she said truthfully. "I haven't been feeling so great, which you know," she paused to take a breath, "And I've been having pretty bad pains right here," she said, lifting her arm to point right below her right ribcage. "So after you left for work, I went into the kitchen to clean up and it started to hurt again." She paused once again, finding it fairly difficult to catch her breath. "So I decided I should come here and get it checked out. I got in the car, and on my way here, I felt another sharp pain and…" she said, trailing off.

"And?" George asked, wanting her to continue.

Izzie's eyes watered as she looked at him.

"I accidentally accelerated, and hit another car," she finished, finding it hard to look at him.

George looked at Izzie sadly.

"Izz," he said softly.

"There was a little girl in the car George. No older 5. And I hit them. What if she-"

"Izzie, its not your fault," he said, trying to console her.

"What if she didn't make it George? What if I killed-"

"Don't talk like that. I'm sure she's fine."

"How do you know?" she asked, tears trickling down her face.

George sighed as he thought for a moment.

"Well they were probably brought here right? So I can go check on her, and see if she's okay," he said, smiling slightly.

Izzie looked at him as she wiped away her tears.

"You'd do that?" she asked.

George smiled and kissed her hand again.

"Of course."

"I love you," she said after a moment.

He smiled.

"I love you too," he said, going to kiss her hand again. He was inches away from her hand, when he noticed something wrong with her fingers. Her nails had a yellowish tint to them. He sat up straight and looked at her.

She looked back at him with a confused expression on her face.

"What?" she asked.

He gave her a fake smile and shook his head.

"Nothing," he said before standing up. "I'm going to go check on the little girl, alright?" he said, heading toward the door.

"Okay," she said, as he disappeared out the door.

George spotted Bailey right away and walked up to her and just looked at her.

"Is there something you need O'Malley?" she asked.

"Did Izzie tell you about the pain that she was having?" he asked.

Bailey furrowed her eyebrows.

"No she did not. What kind of pain?" she questioned.

"She said that she has been having pain in the area beneath her right ribcage."

Bailey looked at him in concern.

"What else?"

"And I noticed that her fingernails are yellowed," he finished.

Bailey sighed and looked at him.

"Alright, I will go in and examine her. And I'll order a blood test and a cat scan," she said, turning to walk away.

"Dr. Bailey," he called out.

She turned and looked at him.

"Do you think-"

"I don't know. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything," and with that she went into Izzie's room.

George stood there for a moment, before deciding to go find Meredith.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Izzie was lying on the bed, looking out the window when Bailey walked in. She turned her head to look at her and smiled slightly.

"Hi Dr. Bailey," she said.

Bailey attempted a smile, but failed miserably. She was finding this to be one of the hardest things she ever had to do in her line of work. She waited until she was standing next to Izzie's bed to speak.

"Izzie, why didn't you tell me that you have been experiencing some unusual pain?"

Izzie sighed and looked away.

"I didn't think it really matter," she lied.

"Hmm. Then tell me, where were you going when you got into the accident?"

"Here."

"That's what I thought. So you obviously were going to tell someone about it then, so what's changed?" she asked.

Izzie finally looked at her before talking.

"I don't know. I just didn't want to worry anyone else anymore than I already did," she said truthfully.

Bailey sighed as she sat on the edge on her bed.

"Don't be stupid. You're a doctor, you know its always better to be honest. Better safe that sorry."

"I know…" she said quietly.

"Can you sit up any?" she asked.

Izzie nodded and slowly moved to sit herself up.

Bailey grabbed her arms and helped to pull Izzie into a sitting position.

"Okay, now tell me, where exactly does it hurt?"

Izzie pointed to just below her right ribcage.

"Here."

Bailey touched the area gently.

"Let me know if it hurts," she said, touching it tenderly once more. She pressed a little harder, but stopped when Izzie winced.

"It hurts?" she asked.

Izzie nodded with her eyes closed.

"Yeah, a little."

Bailey frowned as she continued to examine Izzie. She felt the area once more, and sighed, knowing she had been right. She stood up and looked at Izzie.

"I'm going to run some blood work, and a cat scan on you," she said looking down at her.

"Okay," Izzie said, fearing what Bailey was thinking.

"So I'll go order those and I'll be back shortly," she said, turning around and leaving.

Izzie sighed and put her head back on the pillow. She was so scared. She had some ideas to what this might be, but she prayed that it wasn't true.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

George found Meredith 20 minutes later, sitting in the cafeteria with Alex and Cristina.

"Meredith," he called out, running up to her.

"Yeah?" she said, wondering what was up.

"Izzie's here," he said, not really wanting to waste any time.

Meredith's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?"

"What happened?" Alex asked, concerned.

George sighed.

"She was in an accident," he said, wanting Meredith to just come with him.

"Is she alright?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, I think so, but can you come with me?"

"Yeah sure," Meredith said standing up. "I'll see you later," she added to Cristina, before following George to Izzie's room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dr. Bailey!" Meredith yelled out.

Bailey turned to see Meredith running up to her.

"Grey?"

"Can I help?"

"With what?"

"With Izzie?" she asked.

Bailey sighed as she looked from Izzie to Meredith.

"Yes. You can run this to the lab, page Dr. Montgomery, and then both of you meet me for her cat scan," she said, handing her the blood.

Meredith nodded and hurried off to the lab.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Is that-" Meredith asked, looking at the screen.

"Yes," Bailey said solemnly.

"But how did this happen?"

"It spread further," Addison said, looking at the screen sadly.

"Oh God…" Meredith said, trying to keep her eyes from welling with tears. "How will-" she paused, trying to calm herself "How will I tell her?" she asked, looking from Bailey to Addison.

"You wont," Bailey said.

"What?"

"I will."

"But Dr. Bailey I-"

"Wont be able to. You are becoming a great doctor Meredith, but Dr. Montgomery and I need to do this. We are her doctors. You are her friend. She needs you as her friend right now, more than ever. So you will be the comforting friend, not the all knowing doctor. Do you understand me?"

Meredith looked at Bailey for a moment before nodding.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Now go get me the test results, and then you can go find O'Malley. Tell him what you know if you wish, but keep him away from her room for now."

Meredith nodded once more before hurrying out the door.

Bailey put her head in her hands and tried desperately to fight off the tears.

"Miranda, are you okay?" Addison asked, knowing she wasn't.

Bailey took in a shakey breath and nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bailey and Addison stood in Izzie's room, staring down at her.

"Okay, is someone going to say something, or are you just going to stare at me and make me guess the results of the blood work and cat scan?" she asked, feeling irritated.

Bailey looked at Addison before speaking.

"We got your blood work back, and it showed that there is an elevation in your liver enzymes."

Izzie sighed and looked down.

"So that's why my nails are yellow," she said, more as a statement than a question.

"Yes," Bailey said quietly.

"When I was examining you, I could feel that your liver was enlarged. But I wanted to be sure…" she trailed off briefly. "And it showed up on the cat scan and…" she trailed off again, finding it impossible to continue.

"Your cancer has spread to your liver," Addison said, looking at Izzie forlornly. "I'm so sorry."

Izzie stared down at her blanket, finding it very difficult to look at them right now.

"I have less time, don't I?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes."

"How long?"

Addison looked at Bailey and sighed before looking back at Izzie.

"About 3 months."


	18. Chapter 18

Hi everyone! I know its been a really long time since I updated, but I finally have time to write now. So anyway I never got to thank people for reviewing chapter 17 so I'll do that now: Mcalison, gizziefan118, mimimarie, lonely, mistysparks, and Lemons. And thank you mimimarie for reviewing my A/N, I appreciate it. I really do appreciate and love every single review I get. It makes me very happy and definitely encourages me to continue writing. So thank you to those that take the time to review. Well with that said, here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it and please please review and tell me what you think. :-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

�

Chapter 18

Izzie was lying in her hospital bed, staring at the wall, wishing she could go back in time and do so many things differently. She felt that there were still so many things that she needed to do, but now wouldn't have the time or the energy. She wanted to go to Paris and see the Ifle tower, go to Egypt to see the pyramids, meet her daughter, marry George and have kids. She just wanted to live. Was that too much to ask for? She wanted to become a brilliant surgeon. She wanted to continue doing what she loved; helping people, saving lives. But how could she do that if she couldn't even save her own? 

She sighed deeply, wanting to be able to fall asleep. Yes, part of her wanted to never sleep again, but the other part of her wanted to just give up and sleep forever. _Forever. _Soon, she would be sleeping forever. She knew she shouldn't think like that, but how else was one to think when they knew they had no more than 3 months left to live?

She heard the door open, but didn't bother to look to see who it was. She felt someone sit softly on the bed behind her and knew it was George. 

"Are you awake?" he asked quietly. 

Izzie waited a moment before turning her head to look at him. She wasn't really in the talking mood, but couldn't just ignore him. 

"Hey," he said smiling slightly, looking down at her. 

"Hi," she mouthed, finding it difficult to talk. 

"How are you?" he asked, rubbing his thumb on her head. 

"Okay," she whispered. "Did you find out about that little girl?" she asked, just now remembering. 

George smiled and nodded. 

"Yes, she's fine," he said.

Izzie stared at him, wanting to know the specifics. 

"Well she broke her arm, but Callie fixed her up so she is going to be fine," he said as if it were perfectly okay. 

"And the mother?" she asked. 

George but his lips and looked down. 

"She has a broken rib cage and they had the take her into surgery to take a piece of bone out that was lodged into her ribs," he said carefully. 

"Oh god," she said, looking away, feeling tears well up in her eyes. 

"Izz, its not your-" 

"Don't even say it George. It is my fault. If I had been more responsible, this would have never happened," she said, feeling incredibly guilty. 

George sat there in silence, not knowing what to say to her. He didn't think she should blame herself like this. It was an accident. Accidents happened. Its not like she had been drinking and driving or something. She had had an uncontrollable pain and her foot jerked, that was all. Yes, the people had been injured, but they were going to be fine. 

"Are they still here?" she asked quietly. 

"Yes," he said, knowing where this was going. 

"Take me to them George," she said, sitting up. 

"Izzie, I don't think that's a good idea," he said, moving to stop her. 

"George, right now I don't care what you think. I have to tell them what happen. I have to see if theres anything I can do," she said, trying to sand up. 

"Fine, but you're going in a wheelchair," he said, leaving the room. 

Izzie sighed, getting irritated, but obeying none the less. 

George returned with a wheelchair, and Izzie sat in it. 

"I can walk you know," she commented as he pushed her toward the elevator. 

"Yes, I know you can, but its better if you don't," he added as he pushed the button. 

Izzie got more nervous by the second. She had no idea what she was going to say to these people. What if they hated her? What would she do then? Maybe it would make her feel better if they hated her; after all she did deserve it. 

George stopped outside a room and knocked softly on the door. He went in and came back out a moment later. 

"Ready?" he asked Izzie.

Izzie breathed deeply and nodded, before George pushed her into the room. Izzie saw the little girl sitting on the bed next to her mother, looking at Izzie curiously. George put the stopper on the wheelchair and thought it best to leave while they talked. 

Izzie waited a moment before talking. 

"I just wanted to," she paused briefly. God what was she doing here? She didn't know what to say to these people. 

"You're the one that hit us?" the woman asked. 

"Yes," Izzie said, looking down, feeling ashamed. 

"What were you thinking? Did you not see the red light?" the woman asked. 

"Yes, I did…" Izzie said. "It was an accident, I'm so sorry," she said, trying not to cry. 

"Well what were you doing? Talking on your phone probably," she said rudely, combing her daughter's hair with her fingers.

"I'm really sorry, I never meant for you two to get hurt. I feel terrible," she said, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"Well you should!" the lady yelled. 

A moment later, the door opened and George walked in, looking extremely angry. 

"Listen ma'am, I know you and your daughter have been through a lot today, but that doesn't give you the right to yell at her. She came in here to apologize to you, and all you can do is yell at here?" he yelled. 

"Excuse me?" the lazy said looking offended. 

"Will you give her a chance to explain herself before treating her like a criminal?" 

"I don't think so," the woman said. "She deserves to be locked up. What was she thinking going through that light? She could have killed us!" she yelled. 

"Let me tell you something," he said, looking livid "Not long ago, she was diagnosed with stage IV cervical cancer. She had been having a strange pain lately, so she decided to go to the hospital to get it checked out. On her way there, she had a pain and her foot jerked, and pressed on the accelerator. Then she was brought into the hospital, unconscious. And then they discovered that the cancer has spread to her liver and has even less time to live. And you know what she thought about the entire time she has been here? Your daughter! That's all she was worried about; whether your daughter was alright or not. So instead of yelling at her and condemning her, maybe you should actually give her a chance to apologize!" George took a deep breath and looked down at Izzie. 

She looked at him with appreciation before looking back at the woman. 

The woman looked completely taken a back. She was completely speechless. After she finally soaked everything in, she spoke. 

"I- I'm so sorry. I had no idea," she said, feeling completely ashamed of herself.

"It's alright," Izzie said. 

"No, it isn't. I'm trying to teach my daughter to be a forgiving and understanding person and here I am, jumping to conclusions," she said, looking down. 

"It's really alright," Izzie said. "I just wanted to come to apologize and ask if there was anything I could do for you," she said, looking at the two of them. 

"Thank you, it is appreciated, but I don't think there's anything you can do," the lady said, attempting a smile. 

Izzie nodded and was about to tell George to take her to her room, when the little girl stood up. 

"Are you really dying?" she said in a small voice. 

Izzie looked at her in shock, before glancing at her mother. 

"Isobel," she said, grabbing her daughter's unbroken arm. 

Izzie looked at the mother for a moment.

"I'm sorry, her name's Isobel?" she asked. 

The mother looked at her and smiled slightly. 

"Yes."

Izzie smiled at the little girl. 

"You know what?" 

"What?" the little girl asked, walking towards Izzie. 

"My name is Isobel too," she said smiling. 

"Really?" the little girl said, sounding excited. 

"Yeah, but my friends call me Izzie," she said as the little girl stopped in front of her. 

"Izzie? That's sounds funny," she said, wrinkling her nose. 

Izzie laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it kind of does," she said smiling at her. 

The little girl smiled at her before looking at her mommy. 

"Will we ever see Izzie again?" she asked.

The mother looked at Izzie briefly, knowing that they wouldn't. 

"I don't know dear, maybe someday," 

The girl smiled and looked at Izzie. 

"Okay, you can play barbies with me. I'll even let you play with my favorite one," she said. 

Izzie had to fight really hard not to cry. 

"You promise?" she asked, choking up. 

"A huh," the girl said and gave Izzie a hug. 

"Okay," she said as she hugged her back. She let go of her and watched her walk over to her mom as George started to push her out of the room. 

"Bye," she said, waving at the little girl.

"Bye, see you later!" the girl called out. 

As soon as they were out of the room Izzie put her head in her hands and began to cry. 


	19. Chapter 19

Hey everyone. Thanks to those who read and reviewed. Special thanks to those who took the time to review: gizziefan118, mimimarie, mistysparks, Mcalison, and Grey'sAnatomyBestTVshow. I really loved all your reviews, and hope you keep them coming. And I would love for some more reviews too! Well anyway here is chaoter 19. hope you all like it, and please read and review!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 19

Izzie was sitting in her hospital room, staring at the food in front of her. It all looked so disgusting. Hospital food was never the best food in the world, but nothing looked good at all. She just no longer had any appetite at all. She was picking at her jello when Meredith walked in. 

"Hey there," Meredith said as she shut the door behind her.

"Hey," Izzie said, pushing the food aside. 

"Not hungry?" Meredith asked, sitting down in the chair next to her.

Izzie shook her head and looked down at the tray. 

Meredith sighed and looked at Izzie. 

"They said you can go home today," she said, trying to get Izzie to smile. 

"Yeah, I know," Izzie said, not really caring as much. 

"Aren't you excited to get out of this place?" she asked, surprised that Izzie wasn't happier about it. 

"I guess," she said looking down at her hands. 

"Izz," Meredith said, standing up and sitting on the edge of Izzie's bed. 

"I mean whats the use? I'm only going to be able to enjoy it for what, 3 months?" she said, looking at Meredith with tears in her eyes.

Meredith pulled Izzie into a hug and patted her back. 

"Izz, you shouldn't talk like that," Meredith said, wishing more than anything that she could make Izzie better. 

"I know, but I can't just sit here and have false hope," Izzie said into Meredith's shoulder. "I can't pretend that I'm not dying," she said as tears streamed down her face. 

Meredith hugged her tighter as a tear slipped out of her eye. She wanted to yell at Izzie and tell her to stop talking like this, but she couldn't. This was how Izzie dealt with things. If Izzie wanted to just face it like this, then who was Meredith to tell her otherwise? 

Meredith pulled out of the hug and looked at Izzie. 

"Well George is taking you home in about an hour, so you better get ready," she said standing up. 

Izzie looked at Meredith and sighed. She knew it was hard for Meredith to be here and have to deal with this. Meredith liked to run away and pretend nothing was wrong. Not that that was wrong, but it wasn't how Izzie was. So Izzie decided she could try and put her feelings aside for now so it wasn't as hard on Meredith. 

"Mer," Izzie said looking at her. 

"Should I wear the blonde or brunette?" she asked, holding up two wigs. 

Meredith laughed slightly then pointed to the blonde one. 

"Stick with blonde Izz," she said before walking out. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek saw Meredith come out of Izzie's room. He thought about just leaving her alone, but when he saw her run into the linen closet, he couldn't just let her be. He walked over to the closet and slowly opened the door. He looked in and saw her sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. His heart broke for her in that very instant. 

He shut the door and sat on the floor next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. 

She sobbed uncontrollably in his arms. Her body shook from the sobs, but she didn't care. She didn't care that she was being completely vulnerable right now, or that Derek was holding her while she cried. All she knew was that it felt good to get it out. 

Derek kissed her head and held her tightly. 

"It'll be okay," he whispered, rubbing her arms softly, hoping to soothe her. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izzie walked in the door, with George behind her, carrying her bags. She sighed deeply as she sat down on the couch. She had indeed missed this place. She hadn't realized it, but she felt much happier here. 

She looked over at George who just sat down next to her. She stared at him for a moment before smiling. 

"What?" he said, thinking her actions were slightly strange. 

"Nothing," she said, continuing to look at him. "I just," she paused, lifting a hand up to touch his hair, "I just love you, that's all," she said. 

George's eyes stung and he wrapped his arms around her and held onto her, afraid that if he let go he could never touch her again. 

Izzie felt a tear slip down her cheek. She felt selfish. How could she sit here and let George hurt, when she could have prevented it so long ago. 

She too held on tightly. She loved him so much and was so happy that he was here for her, but at the same time she wanted so badly for him to forget about her. She wanted him to not have to hurt. She wanted him to be happy with someone who he could spend a lifetime with. With her, that was never going to happen for him. 

She pulled away from him and looked at him seriously. 

"George, promise me something," she said.

"Anything," he said, wondering what she was thinking. 

"Promise me, that you will find someone else someday," she said, holding back the tears. 

"What?" he said surprised. 

"Promise me, you'll find someone, and have children. I always thought you'd make a great father," she said as she smiled. 

"Izzie," 

"Promise me George, that you'll find some who'll truly make you happy," she said, wanting him to just promise her. 

He looked at her for a moment and shook his head. 

"I already have," he said in all seriousness. 

Izzie smiled as tears fell down her face and she hugged him tightly. 

"George," she said, hanging onto him.

"Ssh Izzie, don't say anything."

Izzie pulled away again and looked at him. 

"Why do you love me so much?" she asked. 

George sighed and looked at her. 

"Because you're you," he said simply. "I wouldn't want anyone else, and I wouldn't want you any other way. You're perfect."

Izzie leaned in and kissed his lips softly. 

"I love you George, but I'm scared," she said.

"Of dying?" he asked. 

She shook her head.

"No. I'm scared of not being with you."

George kissed her and held her tightly. 

"That'll never happen," he whispered as he rocked her softly in his arms. 


	20. Chapter 20

Hey everyone! Sorry it has taken me a little while to update. I was kinda busy with Easter weekend and all. And just so everyone knows, I am going to be busy until May or June because it is nearing the end of the term for me and I have loads of work to do. I plan on still writing and updating as often as possible, but it may take a little longer than normal. So please bare with me. Now that that was said, I'd like to thank those who reviewed the last chapter: _gizziefan118, Grey'sAnatomyBestTVshow, Mcalison,_ and _mimimarie_. Well anyway here is the next chapter so read and please review!!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 20

Izzie was sitting in her room, staring blankly out of her window. The sun had been coming out, and then hiding behind the clouds all day long. And right now, the sun was shining and Izzie just wanted to sit there, and enjoy the warmth of it on her face. There were birds chirping beautifully, people mowing their lawns, and children running around. Izzie wished so badly that she could be out there with them. She didn't even think she had the strength to go down the stairs at the moment, let alone go outside.

She sighed heavily as the sun, yet again, hid behind the clouds. The weather now seemed to match her mood. _Gloomy._ She didn't want to feel that way, but she really couldn't help it. How else was she really supposed to be when she knew she was dying in roughly 2 months? How did one cope with the realization of that? For the first time, she envied those people who died in car accidents, or trains wrecks, or people who were blown up by bombs. She envied the ones who never saw it coming. Because honestly, she didn't want to know. She wished she never went to Dr. Montgomery. She wished she would have ignored it longer and then just died. Because every second that went by, it seemed like someone was tallying off her seconds till death and she just couldn't bare it anymore.

She heard the front door close and figured George was home, which meant that he would come in here, and take Izzie away from her happy spot. She may not have been happy sitting there, but it was the place she felt most at peace. She loved George, and she loved spending time with him, but he constantly gave her that look. The look that meant he wanted to ask her if she was okay, but knew it would upset her. The look that said 'You're dying and it's killing me inside!' The look that made Izzie wish she could have moved away and died with out him knowing.

Izzie heard his footsteps on the stairs, followed by the soft knock on the door.

"Izzie, you in there?" she heard his voice call.

Izzie sighed, glancing out the window once more. She was sad to leave the view, but knew she couldn't ignore George. She stood up and walked over to her bed and sat down before answering him.

"Yes, come in," she said quietly.

George turned the knob and walked in with a smile on his face and a hand behind his back.

"Hey," he said, concealing whatever he was holding behind his back.

"What do you have there?" Izzie asked, excited to see what it was.

George simply smiled and looked at her.

"I've been thinking," he said, shutting the door behind him "And you're all I can seem to think about," he said, taking a step towards her. "I miss you whenever I can't touch you. I miss you when I can't see your expressions. I miss hearing your voice and hearing your quirky laugh. Whenever you're not with me, I feel like there's something missing."

Izzie stared up at him, wondering where exactly he was going with this. She was about to question him, when he suddenly got down on one knee.

"Izzie Stevens," he said, finally showing what was behind his back. He opened the little black box and looked up into Izzie's eyes.

Izzie's voice caught in her throat as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth. Her eyes widened as she looked down at George in disbelief.

"Will you do me the honor, of being my wife?" he asked as he stared intently into her beautiful eyes.

Izzie's eyes watered as she looked at the man in front of her. She loved this man more than she ever thought possible. She was caught off guard, but this was part of her dream. Her dream to marry George one day. She swallowed hard, and when she finally found her voice again she answered him.

"Yes," was all she could say, but by the look on his face, it was enough.

George's eyes lit up and he smiled the biggest, goofiest grin Izzie had ever seen. He took the ring out of the box and slowly slid it onto her finger.

Izzie held out her hand and admired the look of the ring on her finger. She smiled and looked at George with watery eyes.

"I love you…so much," she whispered.

George put his hands on both sides of her face and pulled her into the tenderest kiss she had ever experienced. His lips lingered on hers for a few moments before he slowly pulled away.

"I love you Isobel Stevens," he said, with his face still close to hers.

"I love you George O'Malley," she said back.

He smiled and kissed her once again.

She was looking at him, feeling happier than she had in a long time when her smile suddenly faded. George looked at her worriedly.

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

"I," she paused as she looked down "George, I'm dying," she said as if she thought he didn't know it.

"I know," he said, lifting her chin up.

"I have maybe two months," she said, as if that changed everything.

"I know this Izzie," he said, knowing where she was going with all of this. "But I still want to marry you. There is nothing that I can think of that would be better. You being my wife would mean the world to me. You, Izzie, mean the world to me."

Izzie looked at him with tears in here eyes. She did love this man. She loved him with every fiber of her being, but still feared that marrying him would somehow make it harder for him when she died. On the other hand, if he loved her this much already, would there really be any difference if she married him or not?

She smiled and kissed him softly.

"Okay," she said quietly.

George smiled and hugged her and kissed her neck.

"But," Izzie said, looking at him "I want a small, peaceful wedding."

"Are you sure, because money's not a problem," he said, even though he knew he really didn't have a lot of money.

"Yes, its what I want. I mean, when I was a little girl, I use to dream of a huge fancy wedding, with lots of flowers, and loads of people, and an exquisite gown. But now, I would just like a little wedding, with people that are close to me."

George smiled and nodded.

"Then small and peaceful is what you'll get." George thought for a moment then looked at her. "What about here? Would you like the wedding to be here? I'm sure Meredith would be okay with it."

"That sounds great," Izzie said smiling. She sighed as she leaned into his arms. This was going to be great. She was engaged again. She had at one point thought this would never happen for her again. But it did, and it felt amazing. She was marrying the man she loved, and that's all there really was to it.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey everyone. I wasnt planning on updating yet, but I decided to start writing and I finished this chapter, so I firgued why not put it on? Well anyway I would like to thank: gizziefan118, mimimarie, Mcalsion, and Grey'sAnatomyBestTVshow for reviewing chapter 20. Oh and I wanted to let you all know that this story is almost over. I know it probably seems like I have really drawn it out, so I dont know, maybe some of you will be happy this is nearing the end. There will be only 2 or 3 more chapters, so yeah. Well anyway I hope you guys like this chapter and please please read and review. I love my reviewers and really do appreciate you guys!

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 21

Meredith, Alex, and Cristina were all standing there staring at Izzie and George. Izzie had told them all she had something to tell them and wanted to do it as soon as possible. So here they were, waiting expectantly. Izzie looked at George briefly before turning to the rest of them and smiling brightly.

"George and I have decided to get married," she said bluntly.

Cristina's mouth dropped open uncharacteristically, Meredith smiled, and Alex looked at her as if she were playing a dumb joke. Izzie watched them, hoping that they would be nothing but happy for her. She looked at Meredith hopefully, but Cristina was the first to speak.

"You two are tying the knot?" she asked, looking from George to Izzie.

"Yes," Izzie said, looking at Meredith still.

"When?" Alex asked.

"Saturday," Izzie said, intertwining her fingers with George's.

"This Saturday?" Alex asked as if that were absurd.

"Yes Alex," she said, looking up at him. "We love each other, and since our time is already limited, we decided this Saturday was perfect."

"But Izzie," Meredith said, speaking for the first time "Don't you think that maybe-"

"What? Maybe we're rushing because I'm dying? Yes, maybe we are doing it in 4 days because I'm dying, but that doesn't mean that we love each other any differently than we would otherwise," she said, not wanting to hear her friend's doubts.

Meredith sighed and looked down at the ground. "I understand that you and George love each other," she said, looking back up at Izzie "But do you really think that getting married is the right path?" she asked, looking at George.

"Yes, we do," George said, squeezing Izzie's hand. "I love her. I love her more than I ever thought possible. And if she is willing to marry me, than that will make me the luckiest man on earth," he said, looking over at Izzie.

Meredith sighed once again. She knew they loved each other, but she just wasn't quite sure that they were thinking rashly. Maybe they were though. Maybe their thinking was perfectly clear and Meredith just couldn't see it because of her views on marriage. Even though she had her doubts about this, she decided that she should give them a chance. It was the least she could do for Izzie.

"Anyway," Izzie continued, not wanting anyone to feel the need to make their doubts know "I want a very small wedding. And I was wondering if I could have it here," she said, looking at Meredith.

Meredith looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, sure Izz."

"And you two can be my brides maids," she said, looking at Meredith and Cristina.

"Do we have to wear dressed?" Cristina asked, sounding mortified.

"Yes, but not real fancy ones," Izzie said, laughing slightly.

"And Alex," Izzie said, looking at Alex.

Alex looked down at her, wondering if she was going to ask him to be George's best man.

"Would you do me a favor?" she asked.

He nodded hesitantly. "Sure, anything."

"I would like it very much, if you were the one to give me away," she said, looking up at him.

Alex looked at her and felt some weird, mixed emotions well up inside him. He smiled at her and nodded.

"Of course I will," he said softly.

Izzie smiled up at him before looking over at George.

"Now all we have to do is get our marriage license and find someone to perform the ceremony," she paused briefly "But I'm tired, so I'll do it later," she said, trying to stand up.

"Don't worry about it," George said smiling softly "I'll take care of it."

"Yeah Izz, we'll help him too," Meredith said.

Izzie smiled at her friends. "Thank you."

Izzie was standing at the bathroom counter, readjusting the blonde wig on her head. She shifted it slightly, and looked at herself in the mirror. This was not what she expected herself to look like on her wedding day, but she wasn't really disappointed either. She was thinner and paler than she would have liked, but there was nothing she could really do about that. She had been getting weaker by the day it seemed. She tried her best not to let on, but it was killing her to just stand her right now.

She jumped as she heard a soft knock at the door and told whoever it was to come in. She looked up to see Meredith come in and shut the door behind here. Meredith looked so pretty with her lilac bride maid gown on. So the dresses were kind of dressy, but Cristina would get over it. Izzie smiled at Meredith who was now re-fixing Izzie's wig.

"You look beautiful Izz," Meredith said, stepping back to look at her.

"Thank you," Izzie said, looking down at her white dress. "This is really happening," Izzie said, looking up at Meredith.

"Yep," Meredith said smiling. She looked at the expression on Izzie's face and sighed. "Don't worry, everything will be fine," she reassured her.

Izzie sighed as she smoothed out her dress. "I know. I'm just a little nervous, that's all," she said.

Meredith smiled and hugged Izzie. "Come on, its time to start," she said, opening the door for Izzie.

Izzie saw Alex standing outside the door waiting for her. He smiled at her and lifted his arm for her to take.

"You look stunning Izzie," he said, staring at her.

Izzie smiled and thanked him and looked ahead as she heard the music start. They walked to the top of the stairs and Izzie looked down at all the people she had only met a year and a half ago. Even though that seemed like a short time, these people were her friends and family. There were all she had, and all she ever needed.

She looked ahead as she neared the bottom and saw George staring at her with a strange glow in his eyes. She smiled brightly and looked back at him. When they were standing in front of George and the minister, Izzie looked over at Alex and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

He smiled at her, before standing in his spot on the other side of George.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…" the minister began.

Izzie didn't really hear much of what was said. She couldn't stop staring at George. She was doing it. She was marrying the man she loved, and she couldn't think of a more perfect thing.

"Do you, Isobel Stevens, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked.

Izzie looked at George with a tear sliding down her cheek and smiled, if possible, even bigger. "I do," she said. George then slid the ring onto her ring finger.

"And do you, George O'Malley, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

George looked at Izzie and smiled, finding it almost impossible to speak. "I do," he said. Izzie then slid the ring onto his ring finger.

"By the power invested in me, I know pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

George placed a gentle hand on the side of Izzie's face and brought his face to hers and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

They pulled apart and smiled at everyone who had been clapping and smiling up at them.

George grabbed Izzie hand and held it tightly. She looked over at him and smiled brightly.

"We did it," she said half in disbelief.

"We did," he said.


	22. Chapter 22

Okay, first I'd like to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: gizziefan118, Grey'sAnatomyBestTVshow, Mcalison, and bohemiangirl. I love everyone's reviews, I seriously love each and every one of them. And I want to let you all know, there will be only one more chapter of this story. This chapter is actually very long, and the longest chapter I have ever written. But I hope you all like it, and please tell me what you think. Here is chapter 22 so please read and review :-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 22

George was sitting in the hallway, leaning against the wall. He had been sitting out there for at least three hours now, and was beginning to become very worried. Why would this need to take so long? It didn't usually take so long, so what had happened to prolong the process? He had wanted to go in and be with her whenever they came, but Izzie had never let him. He had argued that he didn't need her to protect him from anything, but she argued back that she wasn't protecting him, that she was doing it for her. She said that it was easier for her, if he weren't in there with her.

He sighed and put his head in his hands. He loved her so much, but everything was becoming very difficult for him. He knew that she was getting worse. It was obvious, but it really got to him. Every time she refused to eat, all the days she spent lying in bed, every minute she slept, he worried even more. He knew what these were signs of. He'd seen it so many times at the hospital, but he absolutely refused to believe what it meant. There was no way that she was- that she was-

He closed his eyes, keeping the tears from escaping. He couldn't bare to think of it. He couldn't even think the word with out wanting to scream and throw himself down the stairs. He just wanted to spend more time with her. Was that too much to ask? Wanting to spend a lifetime with his wife, the love of his life, was that too much for him to ask?

The door to Izzie's room opened and George jumped up so fast he nearly was knocked off balance.

"You may go in now," The man said to George, with a grave expression on his face.

George walked passed him and shut the door behind him, walking over to Izzie's beside. He looked down at her and tried to smile, but found it completely impossible. She was lying there, her eyes half lidded, breathing roughly.

"George," she whispered.

"Shh, don't talk," he said, sitting down, touching her face gently. He could tell she was trying to smile, but couldn't muster enough strength to do so.

"No, I- I have to," she said quietly. "There are things I need to- to say," she said, looking at him seriously.

George looked at her and felt his eyes sting. He couldn't just sit here and watch her say this. He knew what she was doing, and he didn't like it.

"Izzie," he said, wanting her to just stop talking. Not so much to stop talking, but to stop talking like _this_.

"George, please," she said, wanting him to just listen to her. She didn't have the energy to argue with him. She had so many things she needed to say and she knew if she didn't say them know, there would be no more chances.

"Okay," George said reluctantly.

"The doctor said that I don't have a lot of time," she said as if it were perfectly okay.

George opened his mouth to say something, but Izzie cut him off.

"I knew I didn't anyway, so I can't say I was surprised. But I know there are so many things that need to be done before I leave you," she said, finally starting to show emotion on the subject. "There are things that I need you to do George," she said, looking into his eyes.

"Anything," he said, a tear sliding down his cheek.

"You remember Hannah," she said quietly "I know I never got to meet her, but I still feel like she's a part of me. I've always felt this- this empty space," she paused, wishing her eyes would just stay dry "I want her to be told about all of this. Not everything, she's young and she has enough problems. But I want her to know that I love her. She's my daughter, and though we'll never get to spend time together, or celebrate Mother's Day, I still want her to know I cared. That I cared about her future, and that's why I couldn't keep her." Izzie paused for a minute to catch her breath. This was hard for her to say, and she knew it was hard for George to hear. But these things needed to be taken care of. She couldn't die knowing that she hadn't finished doing what needed to be done. "I left her some money in my will. It's not a lot, but it could start a college fund for her," she said, trying to imagine her daughter going to college. "I've left everyone something," she said, knowing George wouldn't want her to leave him anything. She would anyway of course, no matter what he said. He was her husband, and she couldn't leave him with nothing. "I had a pretty good life insurance policy. I got it right after I became an Intern," she commented. "So there's a lot of money, and I want you and Hannah to have it," she said, looking at him in a way that said there was no point in arguing. "I've left instructions, in my will, of what is to be done with everything, so you won't have to worry about that," she said, as if that made things so much better.

"Izzie," George said, not being able to hold it in any longer. "I don't want anything. I'll do as you asked, and tell Hannah everything, but I don't want any money. I can't take it. I refuse to. Once you're gone, I- I," his words choked off. He couldn't talk about her being gone. It's like whenever he thought about it, which was often, he felt like his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces.

"George, take it, and please don't argue with me. I don't have the time or energy," she said in a serious tone. She didn't want to hurt him, but she needed him to understand that this was neccessary and that there were things that needed to be done.

George sighed and nodded.

"Now, can you please send Meredith in. I would like to speak with her," she said, not really wanting George to leave her side.

He nodded and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back soon," he said quietly, and stood up to go find Meredith.

xxxxxxxx

Meredith was sitting on the edge of the bed, where George had sat. She was staring down at Izzie, who was just waking up. George had told her that Izzie wanted to talk to her, so she had come up not two minutes later, and Izzie was fast asleep on the bed, so she had decided to wait. She had been sitting there for about an hour, when Izzie finally opened her eyes. Meredith smiled slightly at her friend, hoping to make her feel better.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"How long have you been there?" Izzie asked.

"Not long," she lied. She didn't want Izzie to be upset that Meredith hadn't woken her. "George said you needed to see me," she said, wanting to change the subject.

"Yes," Izzie said, knowing Meredith wouldn't want to hear this any more than George had. "You know that my health has been getting worse by the day," she said, not sure how to approach this "And the doctors said that-"

"Izz," Meredith said, really not wanting to be here anymore.

"Meredith just listen!" Izzie scolded. "I don't have much time left. And I wanted to say my- well I wanted to tell you that- that you have been a great friend to me. You were there when I needed you. Like when Denny died, and I was laying on the bathroom floor, you told me I wasn't alone. You made sure I knew that you were there, and that I'd never have to go through anything alone, and you were right. You've been here now, through all of my cancer treatments. Even though you hate dealing with these things, and even though you would much rather be in surgery, away from it all, you stuck by me. And for that I'll always love you. You're a wonderful friend, and," she paused briefly, to catch her breath and try to get a hold of her emotions. "And I am extremely luck to have met you," she said in a whisper.

Meredith stared at Izzie as tears welled in her eyes. How could Izzie sit there and tell her how she was a good friend, when she had run away so many time. Run to the bar, run to surgeries, run to Derek, just run. That was what Meredith was good at, but for some reason, Izzie thought she was a good friend.

"Tell Derek," Izzie said quietly.

"What?" Meredith said, not sure what Izzie could possibly be talking about.

"Tell Derek how you feel. Tell him that you love him. Don't keep putting it off, because you don't what will happen. I know you think that you have forever to tell him, but you don't. I'm proof of that. Love him, and never let him go.

Meredith bent down and hugged Izzie lightly. Meredith wasn't really into hugging, but she felt the need to hug her. She wanted to tell Izzie so many things, but she couldn't really find the words to express how she felt. So she hugged her, and that seemed to get the message across.

"Could you send Alex in, if he's home?" Izzie asked.

"Sure Izz," Meredith said, glancing at Izzie before she went down the stairs to find Alex.

xxxxxxxx

Izzie waited for Alex for about 10 mintes before he actually showed up in her doorway. He looked at her, like he didn't quite recognize her. He stood there for a moment before slowly stepping into her room.

"It's okay to come closer you know?" she said, sensing his obvious resistance.

Alex faked a smile, and stepped in further, closing the door behind him. He walked over to her bed, and stood beside it, looking down at her.

Izzie stared up at him, trying to figure out how to start this conversation. She had already done it twice, so it really shouldn't be so hard, but for some reason it was extremely difficult. She thought for a moment before she suddenly started crying.

"I'm dying Alex!" she shouted as loud as her voice could get.

"Izzie," he said, not really knowing what to do.

"And I'm scared. I don't want to die. I'm not ready," she said, trying to wipe her tears away.

Alex sat down and put an arm around her, so she was in a half sitting position, resting on him. Her body shook as she cried into his arms.

"Shh," he said, rocking her slightly.

After a few moments, Izzie picked her head up as far as she could and tried to look at him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't plan on being like this. I had things that I wanted to say to you, but I just couldn't be strong any more." she said quietly.

"It's alright," he said, trying to comfort her.

"No. I have to say things. This is my last chance," she said sadly. She felt his body tense up at those words. She knew he wouldn't want to hear it, but she knew he wouldn't leave until he was sure she was finished saying whatever she needed to say. "I'm sorry," she said.

"For what?" Alex asked curiously.

"That we couldn't make it work," she said. "I really wanted it to. I loved you. I still do, but not in the way that you needed me to when we were together. I'm sure we could have tried harder to make it work, but it wasn't meant to be, and we both know that," she said, staring at the wall. "Even though you cheated on me, I know you didn't ever mean to hurt me. You pretend to be this hard core asshole, but I know you care. Even though most of the time, you pretend not to, you do. And when I found out about the cancer, you proved that I was right. You've been there for me through this, just like the others, and for that I'll be forever greatful," she said, finally looking at him.

Alex looked down at her, and she could tell he was fighting back the tears that threatened to come out.

"And you need to go to her, and tell her how you feel. I know you'd like to pretend that its just casual, and it doesn't mean anything, but I know the truth. I know you want more, but you don't want to let people see that you care. I don't know much about your past, but I do know you've been through something. But you can't let that get in the way of your future and your happiness," she said, looking at him seriously.

He wasn't sure exactly how she knew about everything, but he did know she was right. He did care for Addison, but he was, as Izzie said, afraid to let those feelings show. He bent down and kissed Izzie cheek softly.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Izzie nodded softly and sighed. "Is Cristina here?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think she's downstairs with Meredith," he said, carefully standing up.

"Could you send her up?" she asked.

He nodded and left with out another word.

xxxxxxxx

Cristina stood at the end of Izzie's bed, waiting for her to say something. She felt very uncomfortable standing here. She had no idea what Izzie would want to say to her, and she most certainly didn't know what she was supposed to say to her.

"I know we were never really close," Izzie said, stating the obvious "But that doesn't mean you aren't like family. All of you are. You guys are all I have now." There was an awkward silence until Izzie spoke again. "I know this isn't your thing, but I know that if I needed you, you'd be there for me, whether you'd like to admit it or not," Izzie said, looking at the uncomfortable expression on Cristina's face. "You were there when Denny died, and when I tried to-" she paused "When I tried to take things into my own hands," she said, looking down momentarily. "And I can never really make it up to you, but it means a lot. It shows that you do care," she said, thinking Cristina would object to that last statement.

Cristina stared at Izzie now, with a blank expression. One that showed that she really didn't know how to deal with this, or what to say to it.

"I just wanted you to know, that I dislike you, in anyway. No matter how many time we fought over cardio surgeries, or other stupid things, I never hated you. I kind of always admired you. You're always able to set yourself apart from things to deal with the surgeries and the families. I was never able to seperate myself," she said, thinking of Denny.

Izzie sat there for a moment before she finally told Cristina she could leave. Cristina nodded and walked over to the door. She opened it, but paused briefly and turned around.

"I don't hate you either," she said quietly.

Izzie smiled slightly and nodded. "I know," she said quietly.

Cristina looked at her for a moment before turning around and leaving.

xxxxxxxx

George quietly opened the door to Izzie's room and walked in, shutting it just as quietly behind him.

"Hey," Izzie said in barely a whispr.

George nearly jumped and turned around. He had expected her to be asleep, but was actually happy that she wasn't.

"How did things go?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

"Fine, but I don't want to talk about that right now," she said, not wanting to waste any time. "I just want to know something," she said, looking at him intently.

"Okay," he said.

"You'll be okay, right?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked, even though he knew where she was going with this.

"When I'm gone, will you be okay? I want to make sure that you'll be able to move on eventually." She looked at him for a moment, not sure if she would get to finish. "I know you'll need time to mourn, and time to get use to things, but I want to make sure that one day you'll be able to live a normal life," she said looking at him.

"How can you ask me that?" George asked, feeling angry.

"George," she said, not wanting to end things badly.

George sighed and closed his eyes briefly. "Yes, I'll be okay. I don't know how, but if its what you want, then yes, I'll be okay...for you, I'll be okay," he said, looking down at her.

Izzie tried her best to smile, but wasn't sure if he could tell she was smiling.

He slowly leaned down, and kissed her gently. It was so soft, that for a moment, he wasn't sure if she was able to feel it. His lips lingered for a moment, before he sat up slightly and looked into her eyes.

"I love you so much," he said, tears slipping down his face.

"I love you too," she said, knowing she wasn't going to last much longer. She waited a moment, not wanting to do what she was about to do, but knowing it needed to be done. This was it. It was her last time she would ever- well it was time. She needed to just do it. She needed to accept this was the end, and just take a bow. She finally mustered up the courage and looked at George seriously.

"I'm actually kind of tired George. I think I'm going to rest for a little while," she said. She knew it was kind of a lie, but she would really be resting.

He looked at her for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I'll see you later," she said softly.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

He bent down and kissed her once more before standing up and leaving the room.

Izzie watched him leave and then she took her last, and final breath.


	23. Chapter 23

Hey everyone! I would like to thank my lovely reviewers for reviewing the last chapter: gizziefan118, oh seattlegrace, Jillian, El Neneo, Grey'sAnatomyBestTVshow, Mcalison, mimimarie, and bohemiangirl. I loved all of your reviews, they were great. I would like to thank **gizziefan118** and **Mcalison** for reviewing every chapter since the beginning, your reviews were awesome. I know there are others that reviewed often, and I love your reviews too of course, but I wanted to give them special thanks for always reading and reviewing!! But anyway, this is my last chapter, and it makes me sad, because I've grown quite fond of this story, but I guess I couldn't drag it out forever. Well anyway here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it, and please please read and review...tell me what you think :-)

**_Kat_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 23

George woke up to the sound of a loud thunder clap. He sat bolt up right and blinked a few times, wondering where he was. He looked around for a moment before remembering he had slept on the couch. He sighed heavily before standing up and slowly making his way upstairs. He would go and see if Izzie was awake, and if she was, maybe she would actually be hungry today. He turned the knob slowly and opened the door. He peered in and saw that she was sleeping peacefully. He stood there for a moment, and then decided he'd climb in bed with her for a few hours. He wasn't going into work, so why get up this early? He crept over to the bed and smiled down at her. He didn't want to wake her, but he just wanted to see her bright, beautiful eyes. He went to lay a gentle hand on her cheek, but as soon as he touched her he jumped back. She was ice cold. He stared at her for a minute before it really hit in. _she's cold._

xxxxxxxx

Meredith woke up to the sound of Derek's voice.

"Meredith," he said quietly, but urgently.

She opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly. "What?" she asked groggily.

"I think you should get up," he said sternly.

The sound of his voice alone was enough to completely wake her up. She sat up and looked at him, afraid of what he might say.

"Derek, what's going on?" she asked, not really wanting to know.

He looked at her solemnly, and couldn't think of a single thing to say to her. How was he suppose to tell her that one of her friends were dead, and the other was- well was having a mental break down.

"Derek," she said, her eyes watering from the realization of why she had been woken up.

"Meredith," he said sadly as he reached a hand out toward her.

"No!" she said, hitting his hand away as she stood up and ran out of the room. She could not, would not believe that Izzie was dead. She ran to Izzie's room at her doorway. George was sitting there, staring blankly at the bed. Meredith's eyes followed his gaze, and there she was. Izzie was lying there, seemingly sleeping, but Meredith knew better. She knew from the mere smell, that Izzie was not just sleeping. A strange sound escaped Meredith's throat, and then the tears came. They flooded out of her, as if they'd never stop. Her knees gave away and she fell to the floor with her head in her hands.

xxxxxxxx

Alex opened his bedroom door after hearing a soft thud and peered out into the hallway.

"What's going o-" he stopped as soon as he saw Meredith sitting on the floor crying. He didn't have to question her reasons. She was sitting outside of Izzie's room, and that could only mean one thing. He looked at Meredith for a moment, wanting to go comfort her, but couldn't seem to find it in him to do it. He went back in his room, shutting the door behind him. He stared at the wall opposite him as his eyes began to sting. This wasn't possible. He had simply concluded the wrong thing, that was it. He had seen Meredith crying and assumed the worse. But if that were the case, then why would he be leaning against his bedroom door crying? He took a deep breath before slowly opening the door and looking out again. Meredith was still sitting there, but Derek was now leaning down beside her, trying to console her. He stepped out into the hallway and slowly made his way toward Izzie's room. He looked inside her door and saw what the other two had, a seemingly sleeping Izzie. But he, like the others, realized she wasn't sleeping. He subconsciously felt a tear slide down his cheek, but didn't wipe it away. He looked over and saw George sitting there, next to her bed, staring at her. Alex knew he would have to get George out of there, but couldn't bring himself to go in there.

xxxxxxxx

Cristina was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of untouched coffee sitting in front of her. She had woken up when George went up stairs. She had been sleeping on the floor, and he woke her up when he walked by her. She had heard a strange thump a few moments after George went up there, and decided to go check it out. When she got up there, she found George blankly staring at Izzie, and that's when she knew. She was standing only a few feet away from her bed when she realized it, and instantly felt sick. She got a hold of herself and tried to get George to leave, but she couldn't even get a response out of him, let alone get him to move. After giving up on getting him to budge, she went to find Meredith. She was just about to open the door when Derek opened in instead. He looked at her questioningly for a moment, before realizing what the expression on her face meant. Cristina stood there for a moment, before telling him to wake Meredith while she made some coffee. She knew it sounded lame, but she needed something to get her mind off things, and since there was no alcohol in the house, coffee would have to do. She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there, but she knew that everyone was up now. She had been sitting here the whole time, not saying a word. She knew she had to go upstairs and see Meredith. That was the one person she could talk to that would understand. Meredith was her person, and even if Meredith didn't want to deal with things, she had to be there for Meredith. She sighed and stood up. She would call someone first, and then she'd go upstairs with everyone else.

xxxxxxxx

Derek bent down and gently touched Meredith's shoulder.

"Meredith," he said softly, looking at her sadly. He could feel his heart breaking for her. He couldn't imagine what she was going through. He'd seen death so many times, and he had dealt with many families, but this was the worse. This happened to someone he knew and had actually become quite fond of. Izzie had been a lively person. She had always been optimistic and perky, and was such a sweet person. And he knew that Izzie, Meredith, Cristina, Alex, and George had all been like family to each other. Meredith had been through so much lately, and now this. He wasn't sure if she was going to be able to get through this and come out okay.

He got down on his knees and held her in his arms. He cradled her and let her cry in his arms. He didn't often have the chance to comfort her like this, and he was afraid she would run away like she usually did, but for some reason she didn't.

He kissed her head and saw Cristina standing there, looking at them. As much as he loved being here for Meredith, he knew that right now, they probably needed some time. He would stay if she asked, but she would probably want to talk to Cristina right now. He pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes.

"I'll be here if you need me, okay?" he said quietly.

She nodded slightly and stood up with him, and watched him walk down the stairs, before turning to look at Cristina and Alex.

"What do we do?" she asked, looking from one to the other.

"I called for them to-" Cristina started.

Meredith looked at her and nodded after a moment. She looked at Alex then at George.

"What do we do about him? We can't leave him in there," she said sadly.

"He won't move," Cristina said, stepping closer "I tried to get him to leave earlier, but he didn't even respond to me," she said, looking at him.

Meredith walked cautiously toward him. "George," she said quietly.

_George was standing outside, and stared at Izzie as she opened the door. He stared at her for a moment before saying what he had felt for so long. _

"_I love you too,"_

_That had been it. In saying those 4 seemingly simple words, he opened a whole world of possibilities for them. Their road had been rocky, but they had made it. The beginning may not have seemed promising, but they overcame the odds. _

_He was standing in Meredith's living room, staring at the women he loved more than life itself. There she was, looking beautiful in her white dress. It wasn't extravagant, but she made it look like it was. _

"_Do you, Isobel Stevens, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked. _

"_I do," Izzie said, smiling brightly at George._

_George smiled back, feeling as if he couldn't be happier. He loved this woman, and nothing could ever change that. He felt like he could take on the world at the very moment she said those two words. _

"_And do you George…..George…." _

"George," Meredith said again, shaking him slightly.

George turned his head slightly to look at her. He looked at her blankly, before returning his gaze to Izzie.

"No, George!" she yelled, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. "Don't do this," she pleaded with him. "You have to snap out of it. I know you don't want to face it , but-"

"I can't," he said in a raspy voice as if he hadn't talked in a year. "I have to remember the past. The happy things," he said, looking back at Izzie.

"George," Meredith said, her eyes tearing up again. "They will be here soon. We can't be in here," she said, looking at Alex and Cristina.

George looked at Meredith angrily.

"They can't take her," he said, standing up, looking furious. "I won't let them."

"Listen, she can't stay there forever," Alex said, stepping toward George.

"Stay out of it Alex, you don't have a say in this," George said, looking at Alex.

"Look, I think you need to cool it," Alex said, getting irritated.

"What does it matter to you, you didn't love her!" George yelled.

Alex looked at George angrily.

"Don't you dare say I didn't love her! I cared about her more than-"

"Guys stop!" Meredith yelled, standing between them. "Is this anyway to act? Do you really think Izzie would want you two to argue like this?" she said, looking from on to the other.

George looked at Alex for a moment as his eyes watered.

"I just can't stand the pain," he said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Meredith looked at George sadly, pulling him into a hug.

"It'll be okay," she whispered. "We'll all get through this together."

George closed his eyes as he hugged Meredith tightly. He didn't think he would be able to get through this, but he didn't feel up to arguing with her right now.

xxxxxxxx

Meredith looked down as the coffin was being lowered into the earth. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek as Derek pulled her closer to him. She buried her face in his chest, not wanting anyone else to see her cry. He wrapped his free arm around her and tried to soothe her. This week had been the longest, hardest week of her life, and she just wanted it to be over. She looked up at Derek, silently telling him she wanted to go home. He nodded and turned around to walk her to the car. He opened her door and held the umbrella over her head as she stepped into the car. He shut her door and hurried over to his side. Once he was in, he set the umbrella in the back and looked at her.

"Your place?" he asked.

She nodded silently and stared out the window the whole way home. Once they were home, he turned the car off and looked at her.

"Do you want me to come in?" he asked.

Meredith was about to say no, but changed her mind.

"Derek," she said quietly, while still looking out the window.

"Yes," he said, afraid she was going to break up with him, or try to push him away like she had done so many times.

"Izzie was always so smart. Sometimes I think she knew things about me that I didn't even know," she said, watching the rain hit the window.

Derek sat there listening to her, wondering where exactly she was going with this.

"She told me to tell you how I really feel. She told me I didn't have forever. And she was right. I don't. _We _don't," she said, finally looking at him. "I love you Derek. I love you so much it scares me. It makes me want to scream and run, but I'm tired of running. I'm just so tired. So I'm taking her advice. I'm going to love you, and never, ever let you go," she said, her eyes watering once again.

Derek stared into her eyes, completely caught of guard by her sudden declaration of love. He smiled after a moment and leaned in, tilting her chin up slightly.

"I love you too," he said quietly, before kissing her with more passion than either of them had felt in a long time.

xxxxxxxx

Cristina walked in the door behind Burke and took her coat off. She hadn't really spoken to him since the day Izzie had died. She hadn't really spoken to anyone for that matter. She preferred to keep to herself and be alone as much as possible. She hung her coat on the rack and kicked her shoes off. She was about to go lay in bed when Burke grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Cristina," he said, turning her around.

She looked up at him silently.

"Talk to me," he said, looking down at her.

She stared at him, still not saying a word.

"Cristina, you can't be silent forever," he said, wishing she would just say _something. _

"Why not?" she finally said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears.

"Because, it's not healthy. You have to talk sometime," he said sadly.

"I can't. If I talk, I think about it. I think about her. I think about how she will never talk to me again. God, she was always talking. She never shut up! We always fought over surgeries, and now we'll never-" her words were choked off as Burke pulled her into a hug. She didn't hug him back, but she willingly leaned on him and let him comfort her.

xxxxxxxx

Addison was walking down the hall at the hospital when someone suddenly ran in front of her, blocking her path. She was about to yell at them, when she realized who it was.

"Why'd you leave the funeral so quickly?" he asked.

"Karev," she said, ignoring his question.

"Alex," he said, sick of them being so formal.

"Alex," she said, looking at him. He looked awful. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. "Is there something you need?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking at her.

She looked at him questioningly before he grabbed her arm and forced her into the linen closet. He closed the door and turned around to look at her.

"Alex, what is it that you want?" she asked, even though she had a pretty good idea what it was.

"This," he said, walking toward her and crushing his lips on hers. It was rough at first, even needy. But it slowly turned into a long, deep, passionate kiss.

She put a hand on the back of his head, and kissed him back eagerly. After a few minutes she pulled away and looked at him, panting slightly.

"Alex, we can't keep doing this. We can't keep having these little make out session in closets, or the other things we've been-"

"I know," he said, looking at her.

"Well then why did you-"

"Because I don't just want little make out sessions," he said, looking at her intently. "I have feelings for you Addison, and I know damn well that I'm not the only one feeling this way," he said.

She sighed and looked away briefly. "Alex, we can't," she said.

"Why not? We're both adults, and if we feel the same way about each other, then why not?"

"You're emotional right now, it's understandable. I'm sure in a while you'll feel differently," she said, looking at him again.

"No. What happened-" he paused, getting a hold of his emotions, "What happened to Izzie, it made me see things differently. She made me see things differently. She made me realize that life is short. Life is short, and if I care about you like I do, then nothing should hold me back from being with you," he said.

Addison looked at him for a minute, not sure if she was making the right decision or not. She had no idea what the future held, but she knew he was right. They should live for right now. She looked into his eyes before stepping forward and kissing him hungrily.

He pulled back and chuckled softly. "I'll take that as a yes," he said.

She smirked and kissed him again, wanting him to just shut up and kiss her.

xxxxxxxx

George stood there, in the pouring rain, looking down at the white coffin lying in the big hole in the ground. Izzie was in there. Izzie was lying in that cold box. He felt tears sting his eyes and angrily wiped them away. This wasn't fair. Izzie was a good person. She was the best damn person he knew, but yet she was gone. She was ripped away from him. Taken away from him forever.

"Damn it," he said, sinking to his knees. He fell to the mud and he put his head in his hands. "How could you leave me with out saying goodbye!" he yelled out. "I love you so much, how could you-" he couldn't say anymore. He sobbed uncontrollably. He felt like his heart had been smashed into a thousand pieces. He couldn't go on with out her. She was the love of his life and now she was gone. He would never smell her sweet perfume, see her beautiful smile, hear her great laugh, touch her perfect skin. He knew he promised her he would move on, but he didn't think he ever could. There was no coming back from this. He couldn't go on living with out her by side. He wasn't whole with out her, and he would never be whole again.

"George," he heard a familiar voice call out. He looked up to see Bailey walking toward him.

He looked back down, not wanting her to see him like this. "Go away!" he said harshly.

"George," she said again, now standing next to him.

"Go…away," he said, between sobs.

"George stand up," she said, sadly but firmly.

"I don't want to leave her," he said, looking at the coffin.

"There's nothing you can do for her by staying out in the rain," she said, trying to hold back the tears.

"I promised to take care of her," he said looking at Bailey.

"And you did the best you could," she said, looking at him sadly.

"Then why did this happen?" he yelled.

"Because this was out of your control. You couldn't protect her from this," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I feel like- like my heart was ripped out of my chest," he said, more tears sliding down his face. "I wish I was with her," he said, staring at her coffin.

"Don't," she said, afraid of what he might try to do if she left him there. "Izzie would not want you to think like that and you know it. You want to help her, get up and go home. She'd want you to go on living. She wouldn't have you dying on her account," she said, looking down at him seriously.

George looked down, trying to choke back the tears. He knew she was right, but he couldn't see himself leaving this spot.

"She loved you, and I know you love her, so get up and let me take you home," she said, taking a step back.

He sat there for a minute before slowly getting up. He looked down at the coffin for one last time and whispered "I love you. I'll never forget you." He turned around and looked at Bailey for a minute, before following her and going home.


End file.
